You Only Live Once, This Is How I'm Doing It!

Thank you

It has been four weeks since we saw nothing on the ultrasound.

Three weeks since it was confirmed that the pregnancy was not viable.

Two weeks since my D&C.

In that time I have received a lifetime’s worth of love from each and every one of you. It has taken me so long to write this because I don’t know how to do justice to how much your words have meant to me over the last month. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough.

Every tweet, every comment, every email, every phone call, every kind word was like a hug. Each word was like air when I was drowning in pain.

I cannot express how much it all meant to me. Still means to me. My words are not enough to express how incredibly grateful I am to each and every one of you. I wish I could personally hug each of you.

At a time when I felt so utterly lost and alone and honestly wondered if I would ever find any light or any happiness ever again you all sent me that love and light through your words. Without you all I have no idea where I would be. Probably still drowning in despair. Instead I am healing and each one of you deserves some credit for that.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

I often find it easier to communicate through music. I listened to this song on repeat during this whole process. I first heard it on Weeds, and apparently that’s all Youtube knows it from also. Ignore the background, it’s about the words.


Holding onto the happiness


A clean start


  1. Liz

    I am glad to hear that you are doing better. And I am glad that you have such a broad support system during this painful time. Thinking about you guys often. I love you!

  2. mccgood

    I just found your blog through another blog. I have been awake since 4 am in 2 days it will be a year since we saw no heartbeat. I haven’t counted all the days since then but right now it’s hitting me all over again. I am glad you had and have a lot of support and I am glad I had the chance to read your blog it’s always nice (although that seems weird to say) know that someone out there knows what you are going through. I think it’s great that you still listen to music I havent been able to listen to music since April 1st.

  3. I have been so disconnected from the world lately that I had no idea. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I am glad that you are feeling better. It is a true testament to all of the amazing people out there. I will be thinking of you.

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