1. The most important thing you can do is to be nice! You are in our world so treat us well. Seriously, a smile and a few nice words go a really long way. Most of us will practically do back flips for a great customer. On the other hand, if you’re rude, good luck. I’m just saying, when it comes down to it we’re in charge so it’s in your best interest to at least follow the golden rule.
2. I hate when we’re delayed as much as you do. It is just as inconvenient for me as I probably have a layover that’s getting shortened or a connection I have to make as well. Honestly, I want to help out as much as possible but one of the things I can’t do is tell you if you’re going to miss your connection or not. I simply don’t know and there is really no one who can tell me. So, when I say to check the monitors when you get there to see if your flight is gone or not that’s the best I’ve got. Sorry.
3. Try and use the restroom in the concourse and not as soon as you get on the airplane. Airplane lavatories are disgusting in the first place so you’re much better off. More importantly, when there are six people lined up to use the lavatory before take off it makes it very difficult to get essential tasks done and get the plane out on time.
4. If the seatbelt sign is on, seriously don’t get up unless it is an emergency (read: puking, bleeding, etc.). I know you “gotta go” but we truly only have you sit down for your safety. Trust me, telling someone they can’t pee is not something I enjoy doing. However, I’d hate to see you get thrown halfway across the plane. So, just save both of us the frustration and stay seated until that little red light turns off.
5. I’m really bad at reading minds. It’s just not a talent I possess. So, unless you’re my best friend, don’t just say you’d like coffee, tell me how you drink it.
6. Also, when ordering beverages, if you know you only want a few sips of your Coke, tell me and I’ll pour you a glass. It’s very inconvenient when a whole can of liquid is dumped in the trash bag. They aren’t always watertight and nobody likes sticky shoes.
7. While I’m on the subject of trash, just relax about it. There are few things more annoying than someone three aisles down holding up, or throwing trash at me while I’m trying to take care of the person in front of me. Since garbage space on an airplane is limited I usually have a system for how I take trash and not only does random trash being thrown at me mess that up but it also has a tendency to splash on me. Just relax and I’ll get it to it as soon as I get to your row.
8. The galley is the only space I have. I know it’s probably a long flight and it sucks to sit down for hours on end but I don’t have any other place to go. Standing there for a few minutes to stretch your legs is no problem but there are several no-no’s. First of all, absolutely no sitting, lying, or changing diapers on the jump seat. I’m not being possessive it’s actually a FAA regulation and therefore against the law. Secondly, stretching your legs for a minute is fine but having a full out yoga class looks goofy. You can do it but I’m laughing at you on the inside… I’m just saying. Also, don’t stand back there with five of your best buddies and have a party. I want you to have a great time but not in my space. Finally, please don’t bring your screaming baby/toddler back to calm them down. I realize it’s frustrating and I feel for you, I really do, but it’s my only place to go so please try and calm them down from your seat.
9. We are all adults here. Yes, those stupid economy seats are small and it’s a tight fit. No, I will not tell the person in front of you to put their seat back up. They have every right to put it back since they paid for that seat. But if you’re eating or really need some extra space for some reason be a grown up and ask them to sit up yourself.
10. I realize when you’ve been on an airplane for hours your belongings can get a bit spread out. However, use the time before we land to put all your things back where they need to be. The worst possible time to repack everything you own is after everyone has already deplaned. We can’t leave until you do and trust me, we’re just as excited to be off the airplane as anyone. So when the Captain says, “Flight attendants, prepare for landing.” take that as your cue, gather your things, check your seat pockets and zip those bags so we all can get where we need to be.
Cute couple
Vogueing
The Girls
Brian and I. We were both celebrating our birthdays.
Down the hatch.
Yeah. We’re hot, we know… *wink*Good times. Ladies, we need to do this much more often!
