You Only Live Once, This Is How I'm Doing It!

Tag: tmi

29 weeks


This week was pretty darn fantastic actually.

It started with a doctor’s appointment where I learned that I passed my glucose test with flying colors. No gestational diabetes, yay! All my other levels are also great and I’m measuring perfectly on track.

The only crazy thing is I did not gain a single pound in the four weeks between appointments. I believe my exact reaction was, “Excuse me, what?!” I did not hold back at all in my Christmas eating and I certainly look a lot bigger. She just stated it as a fact and didn’t say anything else about it so I guess it’s not a concern? I should have asked but I was too busy being confused at how it was possible. I’ve been trying not to worry about it since she didn’t say she was worried. Not going to lie though, I have been indulging in dessert a bit more often. For the baby of course.

I also hit a milestone this week. Twice strangers have asked me when I’m due. I see this as a milestone because it officially means I look for real pregnant and not just “did she eat too many cheeseburgers?” Actually, I didn’t realize it had happened the first time until almost an hour later. All of the sudden I turned to Joel and said, “She just assumed I’m pregnant. I must really look pregnant now!” Still no strangers touching the belly though, I’m sure that milestone won’t take an hour to sink in.

For New Years Eve we decided last minute to drive to Denver for a Five Iron Frenzy show. It was long, tiring and 100% worth it. I’ll write more about it in a later post though.


We ended the big, long, exciting week with a tour of the hospital. Oh my goodness, I could not be happier about where we have chosen to bring this baby into the world. Everything is brand new, beautiful and state of the art. Their policies are also extremely natural birth friendly. Everything, from laboring in a tub, to eating and drinking during labor, to how many support people are allowed, is just how I would want it. Even their policies on c-sections are fantastically baby and mom friendly if I should need one for some reason. I’m just so pleased and feel so confident that no matter how my baby ends up coming out it will be a positive experience.

I’m ending this post with some TMI. So if you are male or related to me or just don’t want to read about my girly bits congratulations, you’ve reached the end of the post thanks for reading!

Okay, so those of you who are left I have a question. My belly has grown enough that I can no longer see down there. So for those of you who have been there before, how did you take care of grooming? The idea of blindly attacking my girly bits with sharp objects is quite terrifying to me. I would just go to a professional and let them take care of it but that gets expensive and I’d rather spend that money on baby things. Or brownies. So, how did you all prevent a jungle situation without butchering yourself or breaking the bank?


I have always struggled with body image issues.

The miscarriage has only made my body hate so much worse. I feel completely betrayed by my body. I’m so angry with it still. Not only could it not develop a normal pregnancy but it couldn’t figure out there was no baby growing. It made me so nauseous I could barely function while I knew there was no chance of a healthy baby.

Then, it bled for almost a full week longer than what the doctor told me I could expect. Not enough to be dangerous or even worrisome. Just enough to be annoying and make me miserable.

Then I finally got a bit of a break only to have the mother of all deluges for my first period “back.” I ruined a pair of pants, a set of sheets and countless underwear because I simply wasn’t prepared for this uncommonly heavy “welcome back to fertility.”

That finally ended and I hoped my body would even things out. In the in between Joel and I still weren’t trying but we weren’t exactly careful either.

The day my next period was due I spotted a bit so I prepared myself for another deluge like last time. I walked around for four days with basically a diaper on only to have barely another spot show up. Then things stopped altogether. Pregnancy tests kept coming back negative and so I found myself in a weird limbo of did I just finish the lightest period of my life or am I secretly pregnant already? I knew if I was pregnant the fact that I didn’t even get the faintest of lines on a test was not a good sign for viability.

One week later my questions were answered with yet another ruined pair of underwear. Turns out my period just decided to show up a full week late for the first time in my entire life. FUN! This one wasn’t quite as Niagara Falls as the last one so at least there’s that.

Then(!) two days ago I woke up, stepped out of bed and yelped because my ankle hurt so much. It felt like I sprained it. Except there’s no swelling and I have no memory of doing anything to injure it. It’s still the same today and I have no idea what’s going on. Luckily I have another week off dance before the summer session starts. It’s already stopping me from working out. If this mystery injury doesn’t clear up soon though it’s going to keep me from doing the one thing that’s been keeping me sane.

I just want to know when my body will be done messing with my head. I feel like I just start to heal and then my body pulls some other form of torture out to undo all of it. It makes me terrified to start trying again.

Logically I’m pretty sure I know my body is not actually out to get me. That doesn’t help me feel any less betrayed by it though.

What’s the big deal?

If you know me well you know I’m not embarrassed easily. This is because I am incredibly cool and never make a fool of myself. Not! Actually, I learned early on that it’s much better to laugh at yourself when you do something ridiculous. You know when people ask you what your most embarrassing moment is? I have a really hard time coming up with one. When something uncomfortable happens I generally just laugh it off and move on with my life.*

This is why I have never understood something. Why are people embarrassed to buy certain products at the drug store? Now I can kind of understand if you’re buying, say, Imodium or Beano (and if you are, bummer, so sorry). I don’t understand trying to hide condoms or tampons though. Here is my thinking.

1. Condoms: Um, hello! Someone is getting lucky. You should put the box on the top of your basket and walk around with a big ol’ smile. Good for you. Either you’re in a committed relationship where you know you’re going to use them or you’ve got a date and you’re optimistic. Either way, high five!

2. Tampons: Now, not many ladies I know are trying to bury their Playtex in the bottom of their cart. Some guys on the other had act like you just asked them to hand in their man card. The way I see it, if you’re obviously a man then it’s obviously not for you. So you’re either A. in a committed, loving relationship and you’re doing your significant other a favor or B. a really sweet friend/son/brother. Either way you come off looking like a super nice guy.

I’m lucky. Joel has no problem being a sweet and loving husband and getting me what I need for that time of the month. The other day was one of those times where I was running low and asked him to stop on his way home and grab me a box of tampons. That was all he needed so he took the box up to the register to check out. When the cashier started to put it in a plastic bag he stopped her and said he’d just carry it out since that was all he got. The lady smirked at him and said “Honey, if you want to carry this box out without a bag, you go right ahead.” like he was out of his mind.

It didn’t bother him though and we both got a giggle out of it when he got home. Plus, Joel knows that doing thoughtful things for me (see number 2) means using more of other things (see number 1). And that, my friend, is nothing to be embarrassed about.

*Now I have surely jinxed myself and will have a mortifying experience in the near future. Greaaaat.

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