I didn’t realize until today how much drama my life has held. Like holy-you-seriously-don’t-have-time-for-even-the-short-version drama.
I love drama actually… as long as it doesn’t involve me. Shows like Desperate Housewives make me happy because ah! the crazies! and they don’t involve me at all. I can sit back and enjoy my comparatively normal life.
Until my life isn’t normal. Actually I’m pretty sure it never is normal but sometimes it seems that way. When I really realize how crazy my life is is when I try to explain even simple things, like my family.
It’ll start with a simple question like, “how many siblings do you have?” My answer:
“Well, I’m the oldest of six… but I also have two older half brothers. They’re a lot older though so I didn’t really grow up with them. They’re almost my mom’s age. See, my dad was married and had two kids. My mom is his second marriage and he had six more kids with her. Oh yeah, my dad is 21 years older than my mom.”
Or something along those lines.
Maybe I’m just a chronic oversharer. Probably considering I blab my life on my blog.
I just feel like people won’t truly understand me if they don’t have all the information. I was raised as an oldest child and have the personality to go with it. However, I love my half brothers very much and don’t want to discount them in my life. I really have seven siblings. At the same time, I still feel like the oldest.
Confused enough yet?
Obviously I don’t go into the whole spiel every single time siblings come up in conversation. Sometimes I just say I have five younger siblings. Or seven siblings. Or I just say I’m the oldest. It depends on what I feel like they’re up for listening to. Although I imagine I’ve read the signals wrong and left someone wishing they hadn’t asked.
Fortunately my complicated family groupings aren’t any part of my life drama. Usually. Obviously I’ve had some spats with all my siblings and I wish I had more time with all of them but for the most part we either get along really well or at least live our lives without bothering each other. My family is just an illustration of how abnormal my life is.
The drama is of a whole different variety but it’s equally, if not far more complicated. Sometimes it weighs on me so heavily it would be nice to just spill it to someone. The issue? There is not enough time in a day to explain even the back story so I could start explaining what’s actually wrong.
I’m not over dramatizing this. It’s that ridiculous and complicated and just plain crazy.
I love my blog. I love the people I’ve met through my blog and on Twitter. However, there are time I wish I were an anonymous blogger. Then I could spill my guts to the world without having to worry about the backlash. If I started an anonymous blog though I’d lose everyone I’ve worked so hard to get to know over the past year. Making friends is hard enough, I don’t want to start from scratch.
So, I have no real outlet and all the thoughts and stories and feelings just tumble around in my head. Of course I can talk to Joel about it but he’s kind of in the middle of it like I am so he doesn’t have a very neutral perspective.
It’s quite a conundrum for a chronic oversharer like me.