You Only Live Once, This Is How I’m Doing It!

Tag: OCD

My subconscious is very modest

I’m a little obsessive compulsive. Not that I’ve ever been officially diagnosed but there are certain things that cause me a lot of anxiety if they aren’t a certain way. This makes getting to sleep very difficult because things really have to be just so. Want a glimpse inside what it’s like sleeping next to me? Ok, here you go…

First of all the sheets can be a big issue. I cannot deal with having any wrinkles. If we had new, tight sheets that wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately a lot of the elastic has gone out of our sheets and that means, unless I wash them daily (yeah right!), after a day or two they start to shift around. If I remember, I’ll pull them tightly right before I get in bed but if Joel is already in bed or I forget it’s,

wiggle, kick foot, pull sheet, try and relax, feel another wrinkle, wiggle wiggle, kick kick, pull sheet, try to relax etc.

until I don’t feel any more wrinkles. Luckily the whole bed doesn’t have to be wrinkle free, just the space immediately under me.

Then there’s the top sheet. It has to be folded over the top of the blanket at least 8 inches. No, I don’t actually get out a ruler and measure. I’m not quite that crazy. I can’t stand lying in bed and having the top sheet fall over my face or get bunched up around my neck. If it’s folded over the top that doesn’t happen.

That’s just a taste of the crazy but I don’t want to overwhelm you right off the bat. Anyway, with my problems with wrinkled or bunched fabric you can imagine it’s very hard to sleep clothed. If I’m wearing pajamas then it’s a vicious cycle of straightening sheets and then kicking my pants down so they’re not twisted or bunched up. And then if I move? It starts the whole stupid process over from the beginning.

In order to save my sanity (and Joel’s because sleeping next to Wiggle McWigglepants is not very restful) I’ve stopped sleeping in pajamas altogether. Hope that’s not too much TMI for you all. It’s just easier, I get to sleep faster and Joel and I both stay asleep.

Or at least usually. Last night I had a dream that I was in bed. I was of course naked but someone was in my room other than my husband. It wasn’t scary, more like a visitor wandered in looking for something. I didn’t want to be seen naked by the stranger in my room so I slid off the side and hid next to the bed. I then pulled on the t-shirt and pajama shorts I keep next to the bed in case of emergency. Joel asked me what I was doing and I admittedly told him something about needing pajamas. Then I crawled back in bed. Clearly I was trying to be a great host for my visitor. My dream continued on from there.

Not a very interesting dream, right? The thing is, when I woke up later I was in pajamas. I definitely didn’t go to bed in pajamas so at first I was confused. Slowly my dream came back to me and I realized that my dream and reality had gotten mixed up. I asked Joel about it later.

He said he woke up and only saw the top of my head because I was sitting next to the bed. He said it looked like I was folding laundry. He asked what I was doing and I got very upset and mumbled something about needing pajamas. I then crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

We laughed and laughed. I may be crazy, but at least it’s entertaining sometimes.

My version of a hot bath

Sorry, no naked picture of me here… today anyway.

Baths don’t actually relax me. Sorry, but soaking in my own filth just isn’t my cup of tea. Plus I’ve never really had a tub that I could get comfortable in. After a few minutes, I’m too hot, my neck is cramping up and I’m bored. I’m much more of a shower person. However, this post isn’t about my hygiene habits. It’s about what I do when I want to relax.

I’m a bit different and this is what relaxes me:

I cut words out of magazines.

As I kid my favorite thing about paper dolls was cutting them out. I’d meticulously cut out each doll, dress and accessory. I’m sure I also made up elaborate stories in my head featuring whatever character the doll happened to be of at the time. When I was done cutting though my interest died out. I didn’t really have much of an interest with dressing up the paper dolls or playing with them. Once they were all cut out, they were neatly put away or given to my younger sisters.

Eventually I became too old for paper dolls. I’m not sure how or when my interests shifted from paper dolls to magazines. As a teenager I had stacks of magazines and one day I started cutting them up. After awhile I had dozens of envelopes full of words and pictures. I don’t know what happened to them. They probably got thrown away once I moved out of my parents house. For years I was kind of a nomad and since there was no place to store my words my habit kind of died.

As a flight attendant one of the easiest things to do on the airplane during down time is read gossip magazines. They’re not very in depth so it’s easy to start and stop reading since interruptions are inevitable. Plus, people leave them on planes all the time so they’re free. During my time flying I built up quite a collection. Not really on purpose, I left many on planes for other people to read or passed them on to other flying partners. Many made it home with me though. Plus, Amazon has had some really great sales on magazine subscriptions (Cosmo for $5 for a year? Um, yes please!). I now have several stacks of magazines cluttering up my house.

Since I’m on furlough I’m currently jobless. I’m looking (Ugh! Whole other story) but in the mean time sitting at home watching DVD’s can get really old. In an effort to declutter and give myself something to do I’ve taken up my old hobby again. I’d forgotten how soothing it is. There’s something about finding interesting fonts, colors, words and letters that just makes me happy.

I haven’t decided what (if anything) I’m going to do with all these words yet. It seems like a waste to just stuff them in envelopes. I’ve thought about using them for scrap-booking (another hobby I’m thinking about taking up) and someone asked me if I planned to make cards out of them. Hey, if I don’t get a job soon I may have to take up kidnapping to bring in a little extra cash. Never mind. That last ones a bad idea Detective who is reading this because someone in my neighborhood went missing. Definitely wasn’t me… I’m open to suggestions though so if you think of anything be sure to leave a comment and let me know. Or leave new hobby suggestions because this one may just be a little too much proof I have OCD.

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