SkyWaitress.com

You Only Live Once, This Is How I'm Doing It!

Tag: I love my family fiercely

The day he was born

Today Wesley turns one. Wow.

I wrote a rough version of his birth story almost immediately after he was born. I kept waiting to clean it or shorten it or something before publishing it. But it’s been a year. So I’m going to share it, long, unpolished and kind of graphic though it is. This is the day I became a mother. This is the day my son was born. It was an amazing day.

Saturday, March 30th, started with me just as frustrated with being pregnant as ever. Still no sign of labor in sight and I was uncomfortable, impatient and generally pissed off. The weather had improved finally so we decided to take a walk around Brookfield Zoo. The nice weather improved my mood immensely. About halfway through the hour and a half or so we were there I went to the restroom and noticed some light pink spotting. I’ve never been so happy to see blood on toilet paper in my life! I tried not to get my hopes up though because there had been other labor “signs” so many times and they never amounted to anything. Plus, I hadn’t felt one contraction all day.

We ended our little date day with dinner at a local Mexican place. It was tasty and there I felt my first “different” contraction. It kind of actually hurt a little and it was much lower. I still blew it off since I was really convinced this kid was never ever going to come out.

We went home, watched some Netflix and around 9pm the contractions started coming every 10-20 minutes. They were definitely uncomfortable. Instead of tightening around the top of my belly like all my other contractions had been before that day I felt it directly in my cervix. It kind of felt like each contraction was prying it open (which I guess it was). At this point I got a little excited but still felt pretty certain I would go to bed and wake up pregnant.

We tried to go to sleep at this point to see if they would stop but they just kept getting more regular and more painful. Lying down during a contraction was torture so I ended up jumping out of bed and pacing through each one. I did not get any sleep but I think Joel dozed between a few of them. At this point I was totally in don’t touch me mode. Joel’s job was timing them but I wouldn’t let him rub my back or anything else.

At this point they were about 5-7 minutes apart and about a minute long. I had started to think this was really it so we took a shower to be sure. Warm water always stopped my contractions before but this time they kept going right through the shower.

It was about 1am and had finally been an hour of Joel’s app was telling us they were averaging 5 1/2 minutes apart. Since my mom and sisters live two hours away we texted them to let them know.

My sisters and mom got to the house around 3am. My contractions were about 4-5 mins apart and I was shaking even though I wasn’t actually cold. Looking back I’m fairly sure it was just nerves and excitement. I could still kind of talk through the contractions but I was way more comfortable closing my eyes and just breathing through them. We called the midwife and let her know what was going on. She thought it was a good idea for us to go into the hospital.

image

I wanted one last belly picture so I put a tiny bit of make up on so we could take one and then hit publish on the “going to the hospital” blog posts that had been sitting in our drafts folders for forever. I had a couple contractions during this time and by the time I was ready to take the picture Joel was kind of stressing out. He just wanted to go. Everyone else just kind of chuckled at me about it. I did have the thought that my Bradley instructor would probably say I wasn’t ready to go to the hospital since I was putting on make up and smiling for a picture. All I could think about was the jacuzzi tub that was waiting for me at the hospital though. Plus my mom was worried the shaking might mean I was going into transition already. (Spoiler alert, I wasn’t. Not even close.)

DSC_0510

We got to the hospital at around 4am. The car ride was very unpleasant but my mom rode in the back and petted my head during them so I managed okay.

The nurse checked me and I was nearly 4cm so they admitted me. Of course I had been 3cm since they checked me a week and a half ago so I wasn’t very encouraged by that. I had to lie in the bed for about 30 minutes so they could get a baseline on my contractions and his heart rate. Awful. Worst pain ever. And then my blood pressure was high so I had to lie down for even longer until they could get it down somehow. I’m sure the extra pain from lying down in bed did not help my contractions any. My sister gave me her sleep mask and I tried to just zone through the contractions. This became a theme throughout my whole labor, I just wanted my eyes closed the whole time. Partially so I could focus and partially because I was so. freaking. tired.

DSC_0532

The nurse could tell how miserable being in bed made me so she had me lie on my side to see if that would get my blood pressure down to an acceptable level. I also got up to use the restroom because dealing with a contraction while fighting the urge to pee is not even a little fun. They had someone come in and draw blood to check for preeclampsia (those labs came back fine). Thankfully the side lying “cheat” plus emptying my bladder worked and I got a couple decent readings on my blood pressure. The nurse made sure to let me know it was kind of a cheat doing it that way but she was really trying to get me out of the bed and in the tub so I could be more comfortable. Bless that woman.

The minute she told me I could get up I shot out of that devil bed. They filled the tub while I paced around the room and changed into the bikini top I bought specifically for the birth. Yes, I bought just a bikini top for the occasion. Doesn’t everybody do that? I got into that giant jacuzzi tub and was in heaven. It felt so freaking good. I was a little worried that it was too early to get in the tub since I was only 4cm and that my contractions would space out but they actually got closer together when I was in there. When a contraction would hit I would sway my hips in the water and it really helped me manage things.

DSC_0546

Joel tried to put some music on at this point but the jets were so loud that it really just sounded like noise and it started to bug me. I had him turn it off “for now” but we never ended up turning it back on again. I guess I’m just not a music person when I’m in pain.

After awhile in the tub I was really getting tired. I’m not sure how long I was in the tub but I know the sun rose and then some while my contractions got harder and closer together in there. I was just a little too short for the tub. I had to really hold myself up by pointing my toes against the far end of the tub and I could never fully relax between contractions. Eventually my legs started cramping up so I decided to get out of the tub.

DSC_0572

I paced around for awhile and did the labor dance with Joel for contractions. By this point I was so sleepy I was having a hard time. I just wanted to lie down and sleep but I couldn’t handle the pain of the contractions lying down. I ended up sitting on the exercise ball next to the bed with pillows propped up underneath my head so I could doze between contractions. I still had to stand up for each contraction but it wasn’t too bad to just stand up from the ball and lean over the bed for each one.

DSC_0592

In this time I really slept between contractions. I know at one point they were getting so intense I had a hard time distinguishing reality from the semi dream state I went into between contractions. For a little while I was so tired and in pain I almost felt like I was drugged or was hallucinating. I asked Joel if I said anything strange and he couldn’t remember specifically but he said I did say a few things that made everyone kind of look at each other and say huh? According to him it was nothing embarrassing though. So win?

One of the weirdest things about me in labor was that I was so freaking polite. I apologized for bleeding on things, said please and thank you for water sips all the time. I’d finish a contraction and ask other people if they were okay. I did not expect that about myself. Extreme pain and exhaustion makes me nice. Who’d a thought?

Things on the ball got really intense. I wanted to get back in the tub but I couldn’t stand the thought of lying down so I opted to try being in the shower for awhile. Joel held the shower head on my lower back and that felt so good. I did look down and notice he was still wearing his street shoes. In the shower. I came out of a contraction, realized he was fully clothed in the shower, kicked him out and let my mom take over since she was barefoot.

After awhile I was too tired to stand in the shower between contractions anymore so I went back to the ball. The contractions started coming almost every minute and a half to two minutes. A couple times while I was on the ball my midwife came in and asked if I wanted to be checked but I turned her down. I wasn’t feeling any urge to push so I knew I wasn’t at 10 and if she told me I hadn’t progressed much I would lose it. She was so amazing and was fine with it. She made sure to tell me there was no rush and I was doing a great job.

DSC_0599

My midwife wasn’t there the entire time but she did come in and out of the room a lot and stayed to talk me through contractions for long stretches of time. We got a really great routine going with my mom, Joel and my midwife. Joel would time the contractions which is something we learned in Bradley. Since my contractions were consistently about a minute long he would tell me when I was halfway done and then when there was only 10 seconds or so left. I honestly think that helped me mentally get through the contractions more than anything else. I just kept repeating to myself that I could do anything for one minute.

DSC_0591

My mom would run her fingers on my hips and stomach. She tried rubbing my back a few times but that never felt good. The lights running of her fingers on me though helped me to focus my energy on exactly where I needed to relax. Then my midwife would talk me through the relaxation out loud. She is super sweet and soft spoken which turned out to be exactly what I needed at the time. Between the three of them I was able to really allow myself to give into the contractions and relax the baby down.

I finally allowed the midwife to check me. I thought sitting on the bed would be torture but it was surprisingly less intense. This may be because I was actually standing up from the ball as a contraction would hit and that hurt. Plus, I was doing a semi squat position next to the bed and I think that really was moving him down. I about cried from happiness when she told me I was at 7-8cm, fully effaced and baby was at -2. Up to that point my water had sprung a leak but hadn’t fully broken so she broke my water bag all the way and saw there was slight meconium.

Mentally I was in a pretty bad place at this point. I could only focus on how ridiculously tired I was. I just wanted to take a nap. Plus I was suddenly terrified of actually pushing. As well as I was dealing with the contractions, the unknown of the pain of pushing was suddenly overwhelming to me. I told my mom how scared I was. I didn’t want to push. This baby had taken so long to get here. Between my loss a year earlier and him being overdue he just didn’t feel real to me. She encouraged me but I know I was still holding back the process mentally. Somehow my body knew I wasn’t in a good place mentally to start pushing and my contractions actually spaced out quite a bit. Apparently augmenting my labor was mentioned at this point because I had “stalled.” My support team was great though and I never heard a word of that until months later. I was able to sleep for the 15-20 minutes between several contractions. I’m amazed that my body seemed to know exactly what I needed. I was in a much better mental place after a got a few of those naps and my labor picked right back up on its own.

They eventually talked me into getting up on my hands and knees on the bed and the contractions picked back up frequency and intensity. I started feeling kind of pushy and would sometimes grunt/involuntarily push about halfway through a contraction. The nurse checked me but said I still had a cervical lip so I couldn’t push. It was really hard to relax through the contractions but also fight the urge to push. Often as not I would end up pushing a bit towards the end no matter how hard I tried to fight it.

At this point I was like oh my god what have I done? Why am I not numb from my eyeballs down? I asked if it was too late for an epidural knowing full well it was. At least I waited until it was too late to get it before I mentioned it, right?

My midwife came in and had me push a little to see if I could get him over the cervical lip. After a couple pushes she checked me again and the lip was still there so she had me change to sitting up with my knees up to see if the lip was positional.

It was positional and after not too long I got his head over the lip and started the pushing phase for real. I was still really nervous to push but my body started taking over at the end of each push and I was getting some effective movement. I asked if I’d have to be pushing for long and they kind of chuckled. Someone said if they could know things like that they could win the lottery.

I pushed for what felt like forever. In reality the whole phase was only about 40 minutes. Still, time kind of disappears in those moments. Between pushes I could actually feel his head moving around in the birth canal. Weirdest feeling ever. Finally they told me they could see his head. They told me I could touch it and at first I didn’t want to. Don’t ask me why I didn’t want to, I wasn’t exactly rational in the moment. They did convince me to though and I’m really glad, I think I would have been bummed if I hadn’t touched it. It felt like jello, it was so weird. Joel impressed me and kept watching things happen instead of staying up by my head like he thought he would want. He even touched the head. I guess the Bradley Method classes plus all those YouTube videos I forced him to watch paid off.

I was fighting the pushing a little because of the burn. It kind of felt like my girly bits were going to rip in half. Good times. Luckily my body is smarter than my brain and kept taking over at the end and I couldn’t help but push effectively.

His head was partially out for several pushes. My midwife actually had to have me reposition my legs because he kept crowning when I pushed and then going back in. I reached down for a second time to feel his head sitting partially out and it was really encouraging.

At the very end it burned so badly and I could actually feel myself tearing as he was coming out. Part of me wanted to hold back still but then, in the last three pushes that got his head out, I wanted him out more than I cared how much it burned. I just wanted to be done.

His head came out and she told me not to push and she suctioned him. That was rough because I just wanted it done. Plus my body really wanted to keep pushing. My mom talked me through it though. Finally the next contraction came and I pushed him out. I vividly remember my midwife saying, “One shoulder, the other shoulder” and then sweet relief because he was out.

DSC_0810

She immediately put him on my stomach and I stared at his beautiful face. The adrenaline rush was unbelievable. He was kind of purple and it felt like ages for him to finally cry. In reality it was only a few seconds but the minute he let out his first yell I realized I’d been holding my breath waiting for him to take his first one. I didn’t cry right then, I was too overwhelmed with happiness. I said, “Hi baby” a million times and then “I did it! I love you so much.” As soon as he was on my stomach I felt no pain. It was the most amazing thing in the world to see his face and know he came from me.

DSC_0808

I looked over at Joel and he was crying. I could see a tear running down his nose. I looked at him and said something about how we did it and we have a son. It was so magical. I’ve never been so happy in my life. That moment is forever etched into my mind. The exhaustion and the pain were instantly gone. All I felt was overwhelming love and a sense of accomplishment.

DSC_0804

His cord was kind of short so the midwife had to keep telling me not to tug on it. I’m sure it’s my fault that my baby has an outie belly button. I just wanted to kiss him a million times and soak in his smell.

Once it stopped pulsing Joel cut the cord and I got to hold him for awhile longer. Wesley kept coughing and sputtering though so they took him away to suction him out in case he inhaled meconium. They did weight and footprints and all that at that point too.

Joel followed him over there while I got stitched up. I had a second degree tear that needed a few stitches. I also delivered the placenta. The midwife asked if I was saving it and I said no but I did want to see it. I’m a weirdo but I wanted to see the thing that made me miserable for 9 months. She was very cool about it and showed it to me and explained what I was looking at.

DSC_0910

I finally got Wesley back and he nursed for 20 minutes on one side and 30 on the other. It was another magical moment. He was a complete natural. The moment he latched on was when I finally teared up.

DSC_0907

 

It was like a dream how wonderful that first breastfeeding experience was. I expected it to be painful but it wasn’t at all, it was practically pleasurable.

The hospital stay was marvelous. All the nurses were so kind and supportive. Someone came in and gave me a post-natal massage. A photographer came in and took gorgeous pictures of Wesley when he was less than 24 hours old. The food wasn’t even too bad. They made a fantastic apple pie which I may or may not have ordered with every lunch and dinner meal. Ahem. They took Wesley to the nursery a few times and Joel went with him every time. It honestly felt more like a stay at the spa than a hospital. It was the perfect wrap up to a wonderful birth.

I’m so pleased with every aspect of my birth. I had the perfect support team. Even my midwife mentioned how it was so beautiful to see my support team made up of the women in my life who had given birth before me leading me into motherhood. It was so special that my mom and two of my sisters could be there. They were great support and they took the most amazing pictures and video. Of the four care providers in the practice the midwife who attended my birth was the one we saw the least during the pregnancy. She ended being exactly what I needed though.

And then of course there was Joel. His support was absolutely essential. I never let him leave my side. Poor guy only got to pee once and didn’t get to eat anything the whole time because every time he tried to sneak away to take care of himself I called him back. I needed him and he was amazing. He never breathed a word of complaint. In fact, I didn’t even realize he didn’t get to eat or sit down or anything. He was nothing but positive, supportive and encouraging.

It was the birth of my dreams. Everything just went so well. Even better though was I got this wonderful tiny person out of it. He is better than I ever dreamed.

DSC_2670-s4w

DSC_2574-s4w

—-

And now it’s a year later. Motherhood has been everything and nothing that I expected. I wouldn’t trade this kid for anything in the whole world… most days. I know it’s cliche but I really can’t believe how fast it went. I’m so glad I get to be home and watch this little human grow up.  He is the best. As long as he is in my future things look very bright indeed.

Weekly Wesley: Seventeen

Week17-WEB

Well this week was stressful. But good. And more stressful. And a little more good.

Like I mentioned last week we ended a weekend visit with my dad by having to call an ambulance for him. Frankly it sucked and was stressful and scary. He was never unstable so at no point was I afraid he was going to die immediately but it was still pretty awful. We spent hours in the ER which was actually pretty entertaining. We were in a room that was just divided by a curtain from the other room so we got to hear all the goings on of the people next door. There was a hilarious 80+ year old man with a broken hip who had a strong opinion about everything. Then there was a teenager who was airlifted in with a massive head injury from skateboarding. They finally found what they believed the problem was with my dad and admitted him.

Since we’re so far from the rest of my family out here, Wesley and I were the only ones who were able to be with my dad during the day.

wesley-dad-hospital

Normally when my dad goes in the hospital we only get out to see him once because the round trip of 3-4 hours is a lot to do in a short amount of time. This time Wesley and I got out to see him everyday of the four days he was in there.

wesley-hospital-fun

It was so neat for him to be able to bond with his grandpa a little.

As glad as I am that I was able to be there for my dad it was pretty draining for all of us.

nap-shannigans

More so for us than Wesley, apparently.

The very next day after he was released was the beginning of BlogHer 2013,

blogher-wesley-mommy

and that was the rest of our week. It will get it’s own post because this one is about Wesley but it was fun and completely exhausting.

Other milestones:

  • Mister Dude finally wore his first pair of shoes. Baby shoes kill me. Dead.

baby-shoes

  • Mirror baby is more fascinating than ever. It is Joel’s go-to when Wesley is upset and I’m not available. Works 9 out of 10 times.

mirror-baby

  • Wesley finally sat happily in the stroller. It was only for about ten minutes but it felt like a big deal.

stroller-happy

And finally, as promised I have video of Wesley laughing. This isn’t the first time he laughed but it’s pretty freaking adorable, if I say so myself.

Nothing better.

My first Mother’s Day

My first Mother’s Day was lovely and low key, just the way I wanted it. We started the day with brunch with Joel’s mom.

Gigi

Wesley slept through the whole thing like an angel and woke up at the very end, just in time to let his Gigi hold him for a few minutes.

From there we went straight to hang out with my family. We had a little cookout and just enjoyed our time together.

whole-family

It’s not easy to get this many people together, all looking in the same direction and still long enough to get a picture.

My mom gifted me this beautiful necklace.

image(4)

It is a tradition that she started that she gifts us girls a necklace like this on our first Mother’s Day. It’s very special to me that I’m finally one of the mothers who gets to wear this.

The weather was a little chilly but sunny and gorgeous so we grabbed some outdoor shots.

the-moms

All of us mothers.

our-family2

our-family1

My little family.

me

I really love being a mommy to this little dude.

Weekly Wesley: Four

Four-Weeks-Old

Lights have become the most interesting thing in the world this week. Obviously.

This week Wesley has become so much more interactive and alert. He has also started cooing which absolutely slays me. He is a super happy, sweet baby. Unless there’s a problem (ie. he’s hungry, sleepy or needs his diaper changed) he is just a content baby who likes to stare at lights and out the window.

wesley-grin

I finally got my first real smile this morning and it was one of my favorite moments ever. It came after a really crappy night of sleep. He woke up around 4am and didn’t sleep for more than 10-20 minutes at a time after that. Thankfully he wasn’t fussy, he was just awake. I still wasn’t thrilled to be up and the sleepiness had me a bit grumpy. That went away in an instant when he looked me right in the eyes and, with a coo, flashed me the most adorable crooked smile. I’ll never forget it. Bad mood? Gone.

dad-75

He had another big outing this week. My dad turned 75 so we had a little party to celebrate. It was so nice seeing my dad so happy. Wesley was a dream. I put him in the wrap and he passed out and slept the entire party. The weather was beautiful so we got some of our first family shots outside by the lake.

Abigail-Joel-Wesley-Lake

I love our little family.

The next day is was still beautiful out so we took Wesley for his first walk.

wesley-first-walk

I’m so freaking glad spring finally decided to show up.

Mom-Baby-Water

Other milestones:

  • I finally got around to cutting little man’s nails. I was nervous but I waited until he was sound asleep and I didn’t cut anything but his nails.
  • He can now relatch himself when he’s nursing. He isn’t great at it and I have to help him more times than not. Still, it’s nice that he can sometimes do it himself.
  • He took a pacifier for the first time. I rarely give it to him but every once in awhile, when he’s definitely not hungry but seems to want to suck still, I’ll give it to him.
  • He actually enjoyed a bath for the first time. Up till then he hated them. This time though he was content and happy in it. I hope this continues.
  • He met his Oma (my mom’s mom) and his Aunt Bekah.

One last adorable thing happened this week. At the party my nephew Jordan kept asking to hold Wesley. I let him a couple times and he was so sweet and gentle with him. I snapped a couple of pictures and then later my sister sent me this text.

Jordan-and-Wesley

There really is nothing like the bond of cousins. I look forward to seeing him grow up with them. He has a whole group of best friends who can’t wait to wrestle, play and run around with him.

Welcome to the World, Wesley

SkyMommy-Wesley-Yawn

This picture perfectly describes how we all feel in this house right now. Not at all surprising of course.

That being said, this will be the short version of things. I’m working on the full birth story but it’s really hard to pull myself away from staring at his perfect little face long enough. That, or I’m trying to catch a moment or two of sleep or maybe shower. Maybe. Anyway, here are the important details.

Wesley made his entrance into the world on Easter Sunday, 03-31-13. He weighed 8 pounds 1 ounce (which is only one once off from the weight estimate on the BPP ultrasound. How often does that happen?!) and he was 21 inches long.

His birth was positively beautiful. It really was everything I hoped it would be. I owe so much of that to my amazing support team. Everyone from the nurse, to my midwife, to my mom and sisters played their part and helped me through everything. Mostly though Joel was my rock. He was by my side literally every minute of my labor and I could not have done it without him. With all their help and thanks to my body somehow knowing exactly what to do and when to do it I got an empowering, natural birth. The moment I met my son will forever be one of the best moments of my life.

We are home now and adjusting nicely. Wesley is a champion at nursing. I really expected it to be difficult and painful at the beginning but he knew just what to do and I have to say breastfeeding is one of my favorite things I’ve ever done in my life. He hasn’t quite gotten the hang of sleep but duh, I wouldn’t have expected him to. Joel is great at taking shifts so we both catch some sleep in spurts.

All in all I’m in state of complete newborn bliss. You’ll have to forgive me from slacking online for a bit. I’m just trying to soak up every second with my gorgeous new son.

Welcome to the World, Wesley

SkyMommy-Wesley-Yawn

This picture perfectly describes how we all feel in this house right now. Not at all surprising of course.

That being said, this will be the short version of things. I’m working on the full birth story but it’s really hard to pull myself away from staring at his perfect little face long enough. That, or I’m trying to catch a moment or two of sleep or maybe shower. Maybe. Anyway, here are the important details.

Wesley made his entrance into the world on Easter Sunday, 03-31-13. He weighed 8 pounds 1 ounce (which is only one once off from the weight estimate on the BPP ultrasound. How often does that happen?!) and he was 21 inches long.

His birth was positively beautiful. It really was everything I hoped it would be. I owe so much of that to my amazing support team. Everyone from the nurse, to my midwife, to my mom and sisters played their part and helped me through everything. Mostly though Joel was my rock. He was by my side literally every minute of my labor and I could not have done it without him. With all their help and thanks to my body somehow knowing exactly what to do and when to do it I got an empowering, natural birth. The moment I met my son will forever be one of the best moments of my life.

We are home now and adjusting nicely. Wesley is a champion at nursing. I really expected it to be difficult and painful at the beginning but he knew just what to do and I have to say breastfeeding is one of my favorite things I’ve ever done in my life. He hasn’t quite gotten the hang of sleep but duh, I wouldn’t have expected him to. Joel is great at taking shifts so we both catch some sleep in spurts.

All in all I’m in state of complete newborn bliss. You’ll have to forgive me from slacking online for a bit. I’m just trying to soak up every second with my gorgeous new son.

38 Weeks

38weeksbelly

So, I feel like a house, officially.

Even the t-shirts I borrow from Joel are tight across my belly. I forget now whose blog I read it on but they mentioned feeling claustrophobic in their clothes. I get it now. Totally.

I also got a, “WOAH! I’ve seen your belly pictures online… but woah!” from someone I hadn’t seen in person in awhile. So apparently this bump photographs well. Or at least smaller in pictures than I look in person. Either that or I’m never wearing that shirt again. I’ll probably be burning that shirt just to be safe.

Despite feeling huge, I’m actually measuring behind by two weeks now. Midwife said it was probably his position though and isn’t worried about it. He’s lying head down (yay!) with his back across my right side and his feet directly in my left ribs. She also said he doesn’t really have far to move down so my hope for him dropping and getting out of my lungs and ribs were kind of crushed with that one. She told me she expects he’ll be small but long. So maybe the tall genes Joel and I missed will kick in with him?

Speaking of crushed, er mah gah my ribs you guys! I’m starting to be a bit worried he might actually break one. Or get his foot stuck in between the two bottom ones and not be able to get out. Can that happen? I’m really asking. Last night driving home in the car I had to seriously do relaxation most of the way home, not for contractions, but because it felt like he was trying to crowbar my bottom two ribs apart with his feet. He may be small but he is mighty.

As uncomfortable as he acts with all his pushing and wiggling he shows no signs of actually wanting to get more room by becoming an outside baby. I’ve had a few random contractions from being active but other than that, nothing, no signs that my body is even getting ready for labor. I’m not necessarily in a hurry at this point I guess. The exception being when he’s really hurting me with his movements then I’m all GET OUT! It will work out much better for everyone if he stays put another week or so at least though.

Other than the internal beatings this week has been pretty uneventful pregnancy-wise. My dad was taken to the hospital yesterday so that was stressful. They were afraid he was having another stroke but now they’re looking at other possible causes for his symptoms. I hate seeing my dad sick and not mentally all there. He is such a funny, brilliant man that it hurts me to see him be less than himself. I’m hoping these tests that they’re running give us some answers. My dad needs to be all there to meet my little guy. Keep him in your thoughts if you would.

On a side note, you get some fun looks from the people in the ER when you walk in as a giant pregnant lady. I wanted to immediately announce that I was just visiting. Instead I just walked to the elevator and found my dad’s room while sort of giggling to myself about what they were likely thinking.

So that’s it. It’s basically a waiting game from here. I put up a poll on SkyMommy’s Facebook page where you can guess what day he’ll be born. It only allows me to put in 10 options but I left the ability open for you to add your own if you want. If you guess the right date you get bragging rights and a mention on my blog. So, go cast your vote!

Surprise Baby Shower!

I’m still so completely blown away that this happened. Joel wrote about the planning process on his blog. I’m honestly still in disbelief that he kept a secret for that long. I have to practically force him to not give me birthday or Christmas presents the moment he buys them and usually all I have to do is question him and he gets the guiltiest look on his face. He is an open book.

Except I guess not anymore because wow did he keep a secret.

Actually, I think the fact that I assumed he couldn’t keep a secret worked in everyone’s favor here because I truly thought there was no way I could be having a surprise baby shower without Joel spilling the beans to me at some point. People asked me if I was really surprised and the answer is YES. It’s not that I didn’t have many times where I was a little suspicious but Joel had a quick answer for ev.er.y.thing.

I asked him why a childcare interview would be scheduled on a Saturday and he told me it was an open house. Oh, makes sense. He even had the director call me earlier in the week and confirm our appointment! That is some serious commitment. There were so many other details that went into keeping it from me. You really should read his post about it. It will blow your mind.

So yeah, really extremely surprised. Can you tell?

surprise

Shower015

The theme was travel which is obviously perfection. So many cute little details.

So many people I love were there and so many more told me how much they wished they could have been (after the fact of course, no one said a peep to me before). I didn’t get pictures with everyone but I’m so excited for each and every person that showed up. So much love.

We were utterly and completely spoiled with gifts. Seriously this little guy is completely set.

Shower017

Shower021

Also, had to point out this picture because it cracks. me. up. My face! I don’t even know, but clearly I was excited.

As I said yesterday we had planned to wait to announce our little guy’s name until he was born… but I clearly have no patience. We had a couple options early on but quickly fell in love with one. We have been calling him by his name for months and after almost slipping dozens of times we agreed to share it with family. I also mentioned that if I had a shower it would be neat to reveal his name publicly there. Joel remembered that and so, if you attended you got the first look at our little boy’s name….

which is….

dramatic pause….

Shower016

Wesley!

My sister-in-law made that name from wood and covered it in maps from places Joel and I have been. So freaking amazing. It will hang in his nursery… when we get a place with more than one bedroom.

It was truly such a special day. So many people worked so hard to make every detail come together. It was pure magic and I will never forget it. I’m still floating on a happy high more than a week later.

More behind the meaning of the name and a cute little video on Joel’s blog. Go see!

Two birthdays

This past Wednesday my nephew turned 1.

Today my dad turned 74.

Seventy. Four.

In celebration of both their birthdays we all met downtown at Lincoln Park Zoo.

   

We ate lunch, saw animals, acted like animals…

 

turned into super heroes….

And basked in the glory of the brisk spring weather and each others company.

My dad’s birthdays are always kind of hard on me mentally, especially since he had his stroke last year. I love him so incredibly much and it’s hard for me to accept the fact that he’s getting older. It’s hard for me to not view each birthday as one step closer to losing him.

I hate that those thoughts creep in. Birthdays are supposed to be happy. They are supposed to be a celebration of life. It’s easy to celebrate life when that life is so fresh. My nephew is such a sharp contrast, just turning one. He has so much life ahead of him and it’s exciting to imagine what it will be like.

It’s harder to purely celebrate when you know the life has more years behind it than in front. I don’t want to think like that but it hangs over me like a shadow.

Today, instead of letting those thoughts consume me, I fought to stay in the moment. Because today had so many special moments. Maybe made even more special because of the bitter-sweetness in them.

I will not let the fear of the future spoil the potential happiness I have today. Today I celebrate my dad. My funny, stubborn, loving, outgoing, wonderful dad.

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén