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My first Mother’s Day

My first Mother’s Day was lovely and low key, just the way I wanted it. We started the day with brunch with Joel’s mom.

Gigi

Wesley slept through the whole thing like an angel and woke up at the very end, just in time to let his Gigi hold him for a few minutes.

From there we went straight to hang out with my family. We had a little cookout and just enjoyed our time together.

whole-family

It’s not easy to get this many people together, all looking in the same direction and still long enough to get a picture.

My mom gifted me this beautiful necklace.

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It is a tradition that she started that she gifts us girls a necklace like this on our first Mother’s Day. It’s very special to me that I’m finally one of the mothers who gets to wear this.

The weather was a little chilly but sunny and gorgeous so we grabbed some outdoor shots.

the-moms

All of us mothers.

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our-family1

My little family.

me

I really love being a mommy to this little dude.

The sweetness of now

Dear Son,

I hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings when I tell you I was dreading the newborn phase. I heard so many just-you-waits and horror stories of colic and sleepless nights. I was kind of terrified.

I never did well without sleep. Frankly I became quite the bitch without a full 8+ hours. Plus the dirty diapers and the cracked and bleeding nipples and the hormones… I always thought of newborns as cute, I just liked being able to hand them back off to their parents after a few minutes. Being responsible for one 24/7? Yikes.

I always joked that I just wanted to adopt a kindergartener, because that’s when kids really become interesting.

Then there was you.

Mother's-Day-Post-2013

Your birth was beautiful. It was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be. I didn’t love pregnancy but I would give birth a hundred times if every one was like yours. When they put you on my stomach I couldn’t believe you were real. You were perfect.

You took to nursing like it was the most natural thing in the whole world. I couldn’t believe how much I loved breastfeeding. It didn’t hurt like I expected. It was complete bliss right from the beginning. You wanted to nurse almost round the clock.

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You also want to be held round the clock. Every once in awhile you’ll be happy to be set down for 20 or 30 minutes and even that is a fairly new development. If I want to be sure you’ll stay asleep and content I have to hold you.

At first this was overwhelming and frustrating to me. People say to sleep when the baby sleeps. Well it’s difficult to do that when the baby doesn’t want to be put down. Ever. Also, I watch the mess pile up around me. I call the futon my nest. I have pillows and snacks and a phone charger surrounding me on it. Most days I don’t leave my nest except to go to the bathroom, change your diaper and grab more food and water.

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I found myself wishing you’d let me put you down.

And then I realized, this isn’t forever. Already there was that one time you slept in the mamaRoo for an hour. You won’t always need to be pressed up against me to stay asleep.

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Right now you need me. Completely. That is wonderful and terrible at the same time. I am your only source of food and often your only source of comfort. I have had moments of wishing that away.

But no more. You need me all you want, little man. There is nothing in the world that is more important than me being there for you right now.

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I look at your sweet face and it’s already changed so much in the six weeks you’ve been alive. You already are awake and alert more and more every day. Before I know it you’ll be too busy exploring your world to be bothered with cuddles. Before I know it your head will have more than just wispy fuzz. Before I know it you’ll lose that sweet milky breath. Before I know it you’ll chunk out and become more than just an armful of sweet squish.

Before I know it you’ll be that kindergartener I was wishing for.

Only the thing is, when I was dreading having a newborn, when I was bracing myself to just get through these days until I got to the “better” years, when I was thinking how I “can’t wait” for ____ milestone I didn’t realize I’d end up with a sweet newborn like you.

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Wesley, you are better than I ever dreamed you’d be. I was foolish to want to skip any of this. You take your time growing up. I know there will be times when things are hard, there already have been. But these moments of neediness? These all day cuddles? These I won’t wish away. They can find me buried under a pile of granola bar wrappers for all I care.

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Because everything else besides you can wait. Thank you for making me a mommy.

28 Weeks

28 weeks belly

This belly is at least 25% turkey I’m pretty sure.

We’ve officially reached the third trimester. *Muppet flail*

I finally managed to take my glucose tolerance test which was a bit of an annoying ordeal. I mean, more than the usual annoyance of drinking a gross drink and sitting around a lab. When I was told they were scheduling me for the test I asked what I needed to know and they just told me to go to the lab. Of course when I went the first thing they asked was whether I had been fasting. Apparently I was scheduled for some weird 2 hour version of the test. Blah. Put me in a bit of a foul mood, not to mention I had to go back in on a Saturday morning. I’ll find out tomorrow at my doctor’s appointment whether I passed the test or not. Cross your fingers for me.

Speaking of the doctors, I’m dreading what the scale might say. On the off chance I fail my GD test I considered it my last hurrah and ate All The Things these last couple of days. Well, except weirdly pie. I KNOW. The actual food was so amazingly good at both Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner that none of us ever got around to actually eating pie. I’m investigating body snatching and other such phenomenon as we speak, don’t worry.

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It really was a wonderful Christmas. Full of love, good food, laughter and family which is exactly how I wanted it. I’m even more excited that we’ll be celebrating next Christmas with our little boy.

 

 

Merry Christmas

Wishing you a very merry Christmas. Hope your day is filled with love, laughter, family and puppies dressed in completely ridiculous outfits.

– Joel, Abigail, Phoebe, and Baby boy

Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year everyone! Here’s to 2009 being a year of lots of learning and happiness.

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