Our Indian family

From my experience, Indians are some of the most welcoming people I have ever met. Our host family immediately embraced us and by the end I felt like I had become an extended relative. They were wonderful.

Joel and I with our contact, A and his cousin M. M is a politician but I’ll write more on that later.

The house we stayed in was M’s with his wife, mother and three kids.

The kids adored us despite what it may seem like by the look on the littlest one’s face in this picture.

One other semi- member of the family?

Aws! Ok, so it was a stray that had decided to make their front yard it’s home. Joel about killed me for picking it up but it was so freaking adorable! As far as I can tell I did not catch rabies, fleas or lice from it so yay.

The kids, Joel and I had a ton of silly fun.

My phone was fascinating to them. I guess that’s pretty much a universal thing.

One of their favorite things was playing hand clap games. They taught me a couple in their language. Don’t ask me to repeat them back now, I don’t remember. They were fun though.

Their mom braiding their very long beautiful hair for school.

I loved being their “Auntie” and treasure all the happy moments I got to share with them. Our flight out was early in the morning so I figured I had to say my goodbyes the night before. We were scheduled to leave the house at 5am and I was surprised that everyone was waking up while we were. But every one of them got up, showered, got dressed and piled into a tiny five-seater car. For the record it was Joel, Me and the wife with a child each on our lap. Then M, A and one of the pastors we met with in the front. In case you weren’t counting that’s NINE people in a car the size of a Geo Metro. I was afraid that little car wasn’t going to make it. It definitely bottomed out more than once. We did though and they parked and went as far into the airport with us as they could.

We were very lucky to have met them. I’m so glad that I now have an Indian family waiting for me whenever we get to go back. I hope it’s soon.

Raw

A mutual friend hurt a friend of mine the other day. It was one of those out of the blue, WTF?! kind of moments. Not that I thought I was, but it reminded me how far I am from healed from my past friendship wounds. I cried and cried for her and the unfairness that had happened. It wasn’t my fight, my getting involved would have only made things worse so there was nothing I could do other than listen and cry.

People are so stupid and mean and hurtful. It’s even worse when it’s unexpected. Then I feel stupid for not expecting it. For not seeing the oncoming hurt and avoiding it. For allowing myself to be totally blindsided by the situation. It wasn’t even directed at me. But I hurt for my friend.

I’m fiercely loyal. I become vicious towards people who hurt those that I love. Most personal hurt I can move past fairly easily. Hurt someone I love and I will cut you.* Not being able to do anything makes me crazy. Because nothing I could do would make any difference.

So I just sit here, reeling in anger and feeling cut to the core. I want to shake them and scream at them for their idiotic behavior. I want to demand an explanation and if it’s not good enough (which it almost certainly wouldn’t be) demand an apology. At the very least I want to force them to look at what they’ve done, to make them feel the pain that they’ve caused. They should not just be allowed to walk away.

Then suddenly I realize in my venomous haze that the anger isn’t totally directed towards that person anymore. I’m angry at the one who hurt me. Again. It’s no longer about protecting a friend, it’s about protecting myself. Even though my situation is long over. And this realization makes me even more angry. I shouldn’t hurt this much. My friend shouldn’t hurt this much. Neither of us did anything deserving of this.

But it is what it is. Those people get to walk away and move on with their lives while we stand with wounds that refuse to heal no matter what. And part of the reason they refuse to heal? Because of stupid people that keep ripping them open at the least expected moments.

*Obviously not actually. But I’ll want to.

Faraway Friends

We picked up our passports with shiny new Indian visas in them today. Well, they’re not actually shiny but in my head? Covered in bright, Times Square like lights. So pretty.

Also, remember how I was concerned about the number of pages left in my passport? The Indian consulate was nice enough to use those “extra” pages in the back that aren’t squared off for stamps instead of taking up two whole pages. Two pages that I didn’t really have mind you. I counted, I have 15 spaces left. Not pages, spaces. Should be plenty for this trip since they used the pages I thought were useless. Such nice people.

While in the car I got a phone call from a friend of mine who lives in Arizona. They are not only in town but were wondering if we had plans as they unexpectedly had two extra tickets to a White Sox game and would love it if we could join them. Um, yeah! Not only were we free but we were like ten minutes away. Perfection.

Jenny is one of my oldest and dearest friends and it was amazing to get to see her unexpectedly.

Seriously love this girl.

We didn’t stay for the whole game since tomorrow is going to be an early morning. We didn’t even actually stay for half the game. In fact, as we were walking to our car a parking attendant was all “You’re going the wrong way, game’s that way.” Thanks dude, the giant stadium with bright lights and screaming fans was not enough of a hint.

But can you actually blame him? Who leaves a game before the 4th inning?

Us, apparently.

Our friends are awesome

Because they can give us a gift like this without it feeling like there’s any pressure at all. Which is good, because this. is. awesome.

Don’t get any ideas, there’s isn’t a future Twitter addict baking yet. But whenever we decide to have one we have one of their first little outfits.

Down

I’ve been really down today. I’m hoping it’s a one day thing. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better. I’m counting on it anyway. I don’t like being reminded about people that hurt me and today is just one big fat reminder. So I’ve been quiet most of the day. Poor Joel makes jokes that would normally make me laugh and I barely crack a smile. That’s if I’m not too lost in my thoughts to hear him at all. I think writing about it will help and then I think that will only get me into trouble. So I’m in limbo with the words that I want to write swirling in my head and no outlet. Crap.

Why does family have to be so stupid sometimes? Why do friends have to suck? Why are people so hurtful? Why don’t more people treat others the way they’d like to be treated? If humans all lived by that rule the world would be a pretty nice place. It wouldn’t be perfect because obviously some people like to be treated differently than others and that would create some misunderstandings. But in general people would be kind to each other. They would be understanding when mistakes were made because they would realize that they’ve made mistakes themselves. They would accept people for how they are, right now, no qualifications. Wouldn’t that just be lovely?

I daydream about that sometimes. Like what if people weren’t cruel and ignorant? What if differing opinions weren’t something to be feared but were just cause for stimulating conversations? Why be so afraid of differences? Why is that threatening?

This post is like my brain throwing up. I do think about these things. Sometimes I even cry about them. Because hate is so hurtful, especially when you’re not really sure what you did to deserve it. To some people I am an awful human being. Consider yourself warned.

This post is so woe is me I almost don’t want to publish it. Life is mostly good but everything isn’t all butterflies and rainbows and I think that’s ok. Right? I can be sad on here every once in awhile, yeah? I promise it won’t happen very often. Sometimes I just need a hug. I’m so lucky I have Joel and Phoebe around for the cuddles. A little virtual love would be nice too, remind me I’m not completely evil.

A little evil obviously, but not completely. ::wink::