You Only Live Once, This Is How I’m Doing It!

Category: first trimester

Always on my mind

I’ve gotten so many lovely comments of congratulations since we announced things Saturday. Joel and I both feel so loved and grateful to have so many wonderful people in our lives.

Even with all the excitement and well wishes things have yet to really sink in for me. I still don’t feel much different although my appetite is all but gone and I had my first faint hint of nausea yesterday. Food sounding gross to me hasn’t stopped me from eating though, probably too much. We’ve been out a lot and that equals eating out which equals tons of junk food which equals me feeling like I’m getting a tummy already.


I also have the nagging thought in the back of my head that anything I put in my mouth is potential poison. I find myself second guessing everything I eat. I know it’s silly and I’m not stressing out about it, but the thought does cross my mind every time I sit down to a meal or reach for a snack.

Yesterday we went to the Chicago auto show which was a blast as usual.

For the first time we weren’t alone, we went with Joel’s sister Beth and her boyfriend Jim.

It was so much fun having more than just us there, although I have to admit I have tons of fun doing anything with them so I wasn’t a bit surprised. Acting like a crazy garage band was definitely a highlight. We look good right?

We did make jokes about it being the baby’s first auto show and every time we’d lose Joel (he always managed to be the one separated from the group) Jim would call out “Preggers!” which gave me the giggles every time. To be clear, Preggers was never my nickname, always Joel’s.

It’s so funny how the baby is never out of my mind for a second. I checked that the test drives didn’t warn that pregnant women shouldn’t do them. I mean really? Driving slowly in a circle? I get more jolts from the pothole filled streets of Chicago. Still, I thought about it. I was insanely tired so I got a chai latte from Starbucks, but not before checking that there was less caffeine in it than the max recommended amount.

I posed for a picture on a motorcycle,

and as I was stepping off to give someone else a turn an old guy standing near said to me “That sure looks good on you.” and chuckled in a way that only pervy old guys can. My first thought was are you kidding me? I’m pregnant! Obviously (thankfully?) there’s no way he could have guessed that just by looking at me but because it was on my mind it made it so much more gross to me.

I catch myself grinning all the time. I want to shout it out to perfect strangers. I feel like I’m carrying around a secret and yet I feel like everyone should know.

At the same time I’m still a bit afraid that it’s not real. Like I said, I don’t feel much different. Just the occasion whiff of something that seems extra strong or extra gross. But then how do I know it wouldn’t have seemed strong/gross anyway? I feel the occasional turning of my stomach but how do I know it wasn’t because of the last thing I ate? Joel says my boobs are bigger (and likes to recheck just to be sure very regularly) but I’m not entirely sure that’s not because I’ve been eating too much junk food and may have put on a few pounds. Of course the biggest symptom is still a lack of AF and an even stronger second line when I took a second pregnancy test (see above doubt for reasons why I retested).

I have my first OB appointment on Friday so I suppose I’ll know for sure then. I’m very excited about the practice I chose but that’s a whole other stressful tale that I will tell at another time.

For now I just wait and grin secretly to myself every few minutes. It’s a lovely little secret I have, isn’t it?

We’re expecting!

and we’re beyond thrilled.

The two little lines that changed my life

I had these grand plans to make this blog about our journey from before we were ready, through trying to conceive then pregnancy and beyond.

Thing is, I felt like I had tons of time before I was remotely ready to start trying to conceive, so I put off writing here.

Then, for no reason at all, Joel and I both said “I wanna baby” and neither one of us said “Oh hell no!”* So, blame the rabies, but we tossed aside the condoms and went for it. I’ve tracked my cycles for years and have a general idea of when things happen but so the first month I pretty much knew we missed our window. Sure enough, we had. No disappointment, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be easy. I didn’t even own a basal thermometer. We figured out early on that birth control made me feel nauseous every. second. of. every. day. so it didn’t take us long into our marriage before we decided to toss it and go with good old fashion condoms.

For five years they worked without so much as a leak or a scare. I actually thought there might be something wrong with one of us they worked so well. I mean, I kept hearing about this baby from a broken condom and that baby from failed birth control blah blah blah and I got this idea that we were playing fast and loose with my uterus every time we had sex.

All that to say when we tossed them aside I really expected we had a long journey ahead of us.

This past month we still both had baby fever which is also something that’s never happened two months in a row. However, we had guests staying with us and we live in a tiny apartment with paper thin walls so out of consideration we held off and I thought we again missed our window. We chalked this month up to really fun practice and set our minds on trying again next time.

Only… the day my app (yes I track my period with an app, shut up) said I was due to start came and went without so much as a hint. Honestly, my only reaction was confusion so I recounted and realised the last several months I’d been having short cycles so I just chalked it up to me going back to my normal lengths.

No biggie.

Today was my adjusted due day.

Still no freaking hint of anything so, even though I promised myself I’d wait until I was officially a day late I peed on a stick.

No mistake there, huh?

So haha, we got pregnant right away. Considering my mom has six kids, and between two of my sisters they have five going on six kids I shouldn’t be surprised at. all.

I am surprised though. And excited. And terrified. I expected more time. I mean, I guess I have nine months to get ready. Because oh my god I’m a mommy.

::screams:: ::falls over (but gently, because ya know, the baby)::

So anyway, I have zero symptoms so far. The only symptom is a lack of ruined underwear, ahem. I have been taking naps but then I was up till 5am which is pretty normal for me if I take naps so I wouldn’t exactly call that a symptom. Come to think of it, some strawberries at the store the other day smelled super gross to me. They smelled great at first but when I picked them up to get a closer smell I thought I smelled mildew or feet or something so we didn’t buy them. Oh! I also had heartburn for the first time ever in my life last night. What?! Isn’t that not supposed to happen until the baby is big enough to press on your stomach? If that is a symptom already I’m getting a surrogate. It’s not too late for that yet right?



Anyway, due to my family history I really expected to be barfing my brains out at this point. My mom and one of my sisters are both cursed with severe morning all day sickness so I just assumed I’d be the same but so far so good. I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

I haven’t told Joel yet. I wanted to pee on a stick when he was home but I couldn’t wait and now I’m going to die of excitement while I wait the million and a half (three) hours until he gets home. I will try and tape his reaction and post it. I wish I had taped mine but like I said before, I really truly didn’t expect to see a second line on that stick. **

Here we go motherhood!

*oh yeah, this is a mommy blogger who curses. Get over it.

**I waited until after I told him the news before I published this. It’s part of the journey though so I’m leaving it in.

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