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41 weeks 3 days

inout600

Dear Son,

Today you have been out in the world as long as you were in me. When we were waiting for you to arrive 41 weeks 3 days felt like an eternity. Especially the last 10 days. Honestly I had hoped you’d show up on the 17th which was a few days before your due date. You had your own ideas though and showed up exactly when you felt like it. Looking back over the last nine and a half months though I’m not surprised. You do what you want. Sometimes that is incredibly frustrating and I wonder if I’ve already ruined you.

You’re so stubborn. I have know idea where you get it. Ahem.

My silly hopes that you would be early made you being late seem that much longer. Weeks, months, years even, passed every day you were “overdue.” And yet somehow, as we step into you being out longer than you were in, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.

My pregnancy with you was not easy. I did love feeling you wiggle and squirm inside of me though. There are not many parts of pregnancy I miss, but I do miss that a lot.

Your birth on the other hand totally made up for it. I know I haven’t shared your birth story with the world yet. I have it written down in a rough form but so far I’ve kept it just ours. It was such a beautiful day that putting it into words almost cheapens it. I will share it when I feel the time is right. It needs to be shared. People need to hear the beautiful stories as well as the dramatic ones.

Being your mother is something I love way more than I thought I would. Watching you learn and grow every day amazes me. You are a force to be reckoned with. Your smile is still the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve seen several wonders of the world and none of them compare to the wonder and beauty of your smile.

In a strange way I feel like I’m losing a small part of you with this milestone. Like we’re just slightly less connected than we were yesterday. Every day you take another step away from being snug and safe in my uterus and towards independence. I know that’s the goal and I mostly celebrate it. Still, there’s a part of me that’s sad and I hope that’s okay.

Thankfully you’re quite the snuggle bug. You still hate to be put down almost always so I don’t have to worry about you rushing off to college just yet. Don’t rush it, Mister Dude. You are still very much my baby and I’ll be happy to keep it that way for quite awhile longer.

Weekly Wesley: Twenty

20weeks

Twenty weeks. Long enough to be halfway through a pregnancy.

Or if it’s Wesley a week and two days short of halfway. Ahem.

In a pregnancy we’d be doing the anatomy scan this week and finding out if the baby has all the proper parts.

We cheated a bit and found out Wesley’s gender at 16 weeks but we of course did the normal anatomy scan to be safe. Here is Wesley in profile at 20 weeks in utero…

20weeksProfileSplit

and out.

Wesley is still going through a leap or something. When he’s happy he’s the happiest baby you ever saw. But we play the happy baby/mad baby game on a way too frequent basis lately. It’s kind of exhausting.

One thing he really likes thankfully is being wrapped.

packing

We’re packing, packing, packing (ugh, do I hate moving) so it’s very convenient that he enjoys being worn or I’d never get anything done. Two weeks from today we will be settling into our new place. I’m so ready for it to be over.

Other milestones:

  • Wesley found his hand. It was quite shocking. Clearly.

i-have-a-hand

  • He also decided he really likes Phoebe. Phoebe remains unfazed but I’m guessing that is mostly because because Wesley hasn’t figured out how to purposefully grab her yet.

puppy

  • Wesley’s legs are officially long enough to drape over mine while I’m lying down and nursing him. My long little man.

long-legs

  • He makes the most hilarious faces. Currently cracking me up is how he chews on his own gums like a little old man.

gum-chewer

  • The sweet face I wake up to every morning.

sweet-sleeper

And lastly I’m going to end with a possibly dumb question. When Wesley does tummy time now he almost never stays on his stomach for more than a few seconds before he rolls onto his back. I’ve been leaving him like that because it seems like that better teaches him cause and effect. Plus, he’s still working on rolling himself from back to stomach. It struck me though that maybe I should flip him back to his tummy every once in awhile? I mean, it’s not really tummy time anymore, technically. Or should I leave him? Because boy is he proud of his rolling abilities.

not-tummy-time

I’m over thinking this, aren’t I?

Weekly Wesley: Twenty

20weeks

Twenty weeks. Long enough to be halfway through a pregnancy.

Or if it’s Wesley a week and two days short of halfway. Ahem.

In a pregnancy we’d be doing the anatomy scan this week and finding out if the baby has all the proper parts.

We cheated a bit and found out Wesley’s gender at 16 weeks but we of course did the normal anatomy scan to be safe. Here is Wesley in profile at 20 weeks in utero…

20weeksProfileSplit

and out.

Wesley is still going through a leap or something. When he’s happy he’s the happiest baby you ever saw. But we play the happy baby/mad baby game on a way too frequent basis lately. It’s kind of exhausting.

One thing he really likes thankfully is being wrapped.

packing

We’re packing, packing, packing (ugh, do I hate moving) so it’s very convenient that he enjoys being worn or I’d never get anything done. Two weeks from today we will be settling into our new place. I’m so ready for it to be over.

Other milestones:

  • Wesley found his hand. It was quite shocking. Clearly.

i-have-a-hand

  • He also decided he really likes Phoebe. Phoebe remains unfazed but I’m guessing that is mostly because because Wesley hasn’t figured out how to purposefully grab her yet.

puppy

  • Wesley’s legs are officially long enough to drape over mine while I’m lying down and nursing him. My long little man.

long-legs

  • He makes the most hilarious faces. Currently cracking me up is how he chews on his own gums like a little old man.

gum-chewer

  • The sweet face I wake up to every morning.

sweet-sleeper

And lastly I’m going to end with a possibly dumb question. When Wesley does tummy time now he almost never stays on his stomach for more than a few seconds before he rolls onto his back. I’ve been leaving him like that because it seems like that better teaches him cause and effect. Plus, he’s still working on rolling himself from back to stomach. It struck me though that maybe I should flip him back to his tummy every once in awhile? I mean, it’s not really tummy time anymore, technically. Or should I leave him? Because boy is he proud of his rolling abilities.

not-tummy-time

I’m over thinking this, aren’t I?

Weekly Wesley: Eighteen

18-Weeks-600px

World’s tiniest giant ham. No idea where he gets it. *side eye*

This was a big week. First of all, Wesley turned four months old.

wesley-phoebe-4-months

The shoot this month was a little trickier than normal because Wesley would. not. leave the sticker alone.

shirt-pulling

We had been trying to save them but this one ended up looking like it had been chewed on so I guess that’s out.

We still got some really cute shots.

4-months-1

I know it’s going to be more and more challenging interesting the more alert and mobile he gets.

With turning four months came the dreaded shots.

Dreaded for me anyway, Wesley is too young to realize yet.

I however had a stomach ache all day in anticipation of them. I just couldn’t get the look of surprised horror and pain on his face from the two month shots out of my head. It didn’t help that he was in the best mood ever in the doctor’s office right before.

before-shots

We were singing The Wheels on the Bus and he was laughing and giggling up a storm. He thought it was the best thing ever.

Then he nursed and fell sound asleep.

Ugh.

The shots were every bit as horrible as I was anticipating.

shots

There were several so the nurse asked another nurse to come in so they could do both at the same time. Only the stupid other nurse wasn’t into the idea of coordinating. The first nurse said they’d do it on three and the second nurse basically said, “Naw I do what I want.” and just stuck him. What a jerk.

Another quick nursing session calmed him right down though, even faster than last time so that was a relief.

Other than the shots the appointment went great. He’s off the charts tiny in weight and 50th percentile in height so that makes him looks even skinnier. He’s still growing and the pediatrician says he’s super healthy. He’s just on his own curve.

The other huge thing that happened this week was that Joel and I both left Wesley for the first time ever. Up until that point either Joel or I had always been at least in the same room as him. Even in the hospital Joel went with Wesley to the nursery every time when they had to take him for tests. He had always been in sight of at least one of us.

So of course I was nervous.

I knew that he would be safe and well cared for. That was never a question. We left him with my mom and I trust her more than anyone. I was just afraid he’d refuse his bottle and scream the whole time and my mom would never agree to babysit again.

wesley-nana

Thankfully that did not happen.

Joel and I were able to really enjoy my friend’s wedding.

film2film1

We had to call it a bit of an early night because Wesley did melt down after awhile. He went a good 4+ hours though for the reception so we got to enjoy dinner and even dance a little. It was so amazingly refreshing to be with Joel, just the two of us. Plus, the couple that was getting married is the cutest, happiest ever. It was just lovely.

I sure was happy to get home to him though.

missed-my-baby

Lastly Joel’s grandparents were in from out of town for a visit.

grandma-g

long-legs

I treasure every minute we get with them.

Other milestones:

  • I showed Wesley himself in the front camera of my phone for the first time. He was skeptical.

front-camera

  • Wesley is thisclose to rolling over from back to front. He’s nearly done it several times but his arm has so far prevented it from happening all the way. I’m not so much a fan of him possibly doing it in his sleep though. Blurg.

roll-over

  • His eye tracking has gotten incredible. I noticed because of watching him follow the fish around the tank at my grandparent’s and then at the doctors office. He didn’t lose sight of those fast moving fish for a second.

fish

  • He has gotten a lot more drooly recently. With that comes lots of spit bubbles and jokes about rabies.

rabid

Finally, a couple pictures that are just too good to leave out.

uncle-bubs

BBQ at our favorite local place.

bekah-wesley

Had my sister Bekah over for a visit and Wesley was a big fan.

foot-grab

Bébé feet!

flying-baby

Oh hello. See ya next time.

Weekly Wesley: Eighteen

18-Weeks-600px

World’s tiniest giant ham. No idea where he gets it. *side eye*

This was a big week. First of all, Wesley turned four months old.

wesley-phoebe-4-months

The shoot this month was a little trickier than normal because Wesley would. not. leave the sticker alone.

shirt-pulling

We had been trying to save them but this one ended up looking like it had been chewed on so I guess that’s out.

We still got some really cute shots.

4-months-1

I know it’s going to be more and more challenging interesting the more alert and mobile he gets.

With turning four months came the dreaded shots.

Dreaded for me anyway, Wesley is too young to realize yet.

I however had a stomach ache all day in anticipation of them. I just couldn’t get the look of surprised horror and pain on his face from the two month shots out of my head. It didn’t help that he was in the best mood ever in the doctor’s office right before.

before-shots

We were singing The Wheels on the Bus and he was laughing and giggling up a storm. He thought it was the best thing ever.

Then he nursed and fell sound asleep.

Ugh.

The shots were every bit as horrible as I was anticipating.

shots

There were several so the nurse asked another nurse to come in so they could do both at the same time. Only the stupid other nurse wasn’t into the idea of coordinating. The first nurse said they’d do it on three and the second nurse basically said, “Naw I do what I want.” and just stuck him. What a jerk.

Another quick nursing session calmed him right down though, even faster than last time so that was a relief.

Other than the shots the appointment went great. He’s off the charts tiny in weight and 50th percentile in height so that makes him looks even skinnier. He’s still growing and the pediatrician says he’s super healthy. He’s just on his own curve.

The other huge thing that happened this week was that Joel and I both left Wesley for the first time ever. Up until that point either Joel or I had always been at least in the same room as him. Even in the hospital Joel went with Wesley to the nursery every time when they had to take him for tests. He had always been in sight of at least one of us.

So of course I was nervous.

I knew that he would be safe and well cared for. That was never a question. We left him with my mom and I trust her more than anyone. I was just afraid he’d refuse his bottle and scream the whole time and my mom would never agree to babysit again.

wesley-nana

Thankfully that did not happen.

Joel and I were able to really enjoy my friend’s wedding.

film2film1

We had to call it a bit of an early night because Wesley did melt down after awhile. He went a good 4+ hours though for the reception so we got to enjoy dinner and even dance a little. It was so amazingly refreshing to be with Joel, just the two of us. Plus, the couple that was getting married is the cutest, happiest ever. It was just lovely.

I sure was happy to get home to him though.

missed-my-baby

Lastly Joel’s grandparents were in from out of town for a visit.

grandma-g

long-legs

I treasure every minute we get with them.

Other milestones:

  • I showed Wesley himself in the front camera of my phone for the first time. He was skeptical.

front-camera

  • Wesley is thisclose to rolling over from back to front. He’s nearly done it several times but his arm has so far prevented it from happening all the way. I’m not so much a fan of him possibly doing it in his sleep though. Blurg.

roll-over

  • His eye tracking has gotten incredible. I noticed because of watching him follow the fish around the tank at my grandparent’s and then at the doctors office. He didn’t lose sight of those fast moving fish for a second.

fish

  • He has gotten a lot more drooly recently. With that comes lots of spit bubbles and jokes about rabies.

rabid

Finally, a couple pictures that are just too good to leave out.

uncle-bubs

BBQ at our favorite local place.

bekah-wesley

Had my sister Bekah over for a visit and Wesley was a big fan.

foot-grab

Bébé feet!

flying-baby

Oh hello. See ya next time.

Four Months Old

4-months-web

Weight: 10 pounds 13 ounces

Length: 24 1/2 inches

Clothing size: Newborn for onsies but just barely. A few I’ve had to put away. He’s growing out of them in length before width though. He’s solidly in 0-3 month pants length wise but they still threaten to fall of him at any moment. He’s just a skinny mini.

Diaper size: Size 1

Sleep: He generally wants to fall asleep around 7:30 or 8, wakes up around 10 or 11 to eat and then sleeps through until 6 or 7 in the morning. After his morning feed often as not he’ll go back down until 9 or 10 and on rare occasions past noon. He tends to take one good 2 hour nap around noon or so if he hasn’t slept through until then and then a few 20 minute cat naps. Clearly we’re on a strict schedule by now. Snort.

Approximate number of photos I’ve taken of Wesley: 1,200+

Approximate diapers changed: lost count. We’ve had several blowouts lately which sucks. I’m addicted to the wet indicator line though so I’m reluctant to try a different brand.

Wesley is still a little peanut but he’s a healthy peanut. He’s gaining and according to the pediatrician that’s what matters.

Four Months Old

4-months-web

Weight: 10 pounds 13 ounces

Length: 24 1/2 inches

Clothing size: Newborn for onsies but just barely. A few I’ve had to put away. He’s growing out of them in length before width though. He’s solidly in 0-3 month pants length wise but they still threaten to fall of him at any moment. He’s just a skinny mini.

Diaper size: Size 1

Sleep: He generally wants to fall asleep around 7:30 or 8, wakes up around 10 or 11 to eat and then sleeps through until 6 or 7 in the morning. After his morning feed often as not he’ll go back down until 9 or 10 and on rare occasions past noon. He tends to take one good 2 hour nap around noon or so if he hasn’t slept through until then and then a few 20 minute cat naps. Clearly we’re on a strict schedule by now. Snort.

Approximate number of photos I’ve taken of Wesley: 1,200+

Approximate diapers changed: lost count. We’ve had several blowouts lately which sucks. I’m addicted to the wet indicator line though so I’m reluctant to try a different brand.

Wesley is still a little peanut but he’s a healthy peanut. He’s gaining and according to the pediatrician that’s what matters.

I half assed BlogHer 2013

bfing-at-blogher

When they announced that BlogHer 2013 was going to be in Chicago I knew I had to go. I’d managed to talk myself out of it every other year but the fact that all I had to pay for was the (early bird priced) pass, not even the hotel, took away all my excuses. At the last minute Joel decided to get an expo only pass so he could join me, check out some of the brands, and help me with Wesley. I’m so glad he did.

I prepared for BlogHer by… oh wait, nope, no I didn’t prepare at all. I’ve read about people buying all new wardrobes and meticulously planning every outfit and accessory. Uh… yeah… I not only don’t have the money or time (hello, new mom here) but I’ve never been very good at fashion trends. So I just wore stuff I already had in my closet and meant to repaint my toenails buuuut didn’t even get to that. Did I mention I’m a new mom?

Oh wait, I lied. I did order business cards. A week in advance and had to pay for rush shipping because I totally spaced, but they got ordered and arrived before the conference. Winning.

Joel and I both went to the opening of the expo hall and had a chill evening there wandering around and checking out the booths.

blogher-mommy-love

transformers

The next day was decidedly not chill. Our first mistake was sticking around the expo hall way too late. Wesley did sleep a good amount of the time but Joel and I only got about 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Then we had to wake our sleeping baby.

Never do that.

unhappyboy

We managed to get out the door on time and actually got to the conference early!

Only to find that Wesley had had a massive blow out poop all over the adorable outfit I dressed him in.

Don’t worry, there’s no picture to go with this part of the story. You’re welcome.

Anyway, that ate up all the “early” we had and then some so I showed up to the newbie breakfast late and even then only got to shove food in my mouth really quickly before Wesley needed me to walk him around. He was okay-ish for most of the morning but only if I was pacing with him. Thankfully I have my Maya Wrap so it was hands free feeding.

hands-free-bfing

Unfortunately Wesley’s restlessness and fighting sleep made it pretty impossible for me to network and left me feeling kind of frazzled.

Must. not. let. him. cry.

Anyway, he finally gave in and napped and I got to have some much needed caffeine and sitting down time.

sittingdown

Throughout the whole day Joel’s help was invaluable.

joel-wesley-computer-starbucks

He held Wesley as much as Wesley would let him so I got to eat a little and listen to at least part of some sessions without bouncing and pacing.

It was a long day and then, as I was on my way to hear the Voices of the Year keynote, I realized my wallet was missing. We dug the car apart and nothing. So we drove all the way home and dug through the swag bags and found it. Stupid swag.

Wesley was not impressed by our early morning and late night and our night ended looking like this.

saddest-baby

Saddest. baby. ever.

We fell into bed as fast as possible and decided not to force ourselves out of bed the next morning. When you wake a sleeping baby once you don’t make that mistake again if you can help it.

The last day was much, much better. I finally got to meet a few of my favorite online people and sat at the silliest lunch table ever.

lunch

There was a for real spit take, complete with Diet Pepsi out the nose from one person at the table. It was that good.

We also ended the night a lot earlier and things didn’t end in complete meltdown like the previous night.

Overall I’d say I’m glad I went, if only because I would have regretted not going. I do kind of feel like I did BlogHer “wrong.” The sessions were okay but I was distracted during them and only got to sit down through one full one. I also didn’t get nearly the full conference experience by not staying at the hotel and not being able to attend any of the official parties. Plus the fact that I was constantly on edge trying to make sure my baby wasn’t fussing and bothering everyone made it so I wasn’t able to fully engage or have many real conversations with new friends.

I will say that my being on edge was my own thing. Everyone was so friendly about Wesley and I never for a second felt uncomfortable breastfeeding him. I even got a few “you go girls” about it. I really appreciated the encouragement for sure. Still, I wanted to make sure he stayed quiet and didn’t disrupt anyone’s experience.

Next year Wesley will be old enough to be left home with Joel. If I decide to go again that’s the only way I’ll do it. I got a little taste of BlogHer this year but if I ever go again I won’t half ass it. Except for the planning out my entire new wardrobe part because seriously? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Weekly Wesley: Seventeen

Week17-WEB

Well this week was stressful. But good. And more stressful. And a little more good.

Like I mentioned last week we ended a weekend visit with my dad by having to call an ambulance for him. Frankly it sucked and was stressful and scary. He was never unstable so at no point was I afraid he was going to die immediately but it was still pretty awful. We spent hours in the ER which was actually pretty entertaining. We were in a room that was just divided by a curtain from the other room so we got to hear all the goings on of the people next door. There was a hilarious 80+ year old man with a broken hip who had a strong opinion about everything. Then there was a teenager who was airlifted in with a massive head injury from skateboarding. They finally found what they believed the problem was with my dad and admitted him.

Since we’re so far from the rest of my family out here, Wesley and I were the only ones who were able to be with my dad during the day.

wesley-dad-hospital

Normally when my dad goes in the hospital we only get out to see him once because the round trip of 3-4 hours is a lot to do in a short amount of time. This time Wesley and I got out to see him everyday of the four days he was in there.

wesley-hospital-fun

It was so neat for him to be able to bond with his grandpa a little.

As glad as I am that I was able to be there for my dad it was pretty draining for all of us.

nap-shannigans

More so for us than Wesley, apparently.

The very next day after he was released was the beginning of BlogHer 2013,

blogher-wesley-mommy

and that was the rest of our week. It will get it’s own post because this one is about Wesley but it was fun and completely exhausting.

Other milestones:

  • Mister Dude finally wore his first pair of shoes. Baby shoes kill me. Dead.

baby-shoes

  • Mirror baby is more fascinating than ever. It is Joel’s go-to when Wesley is upset and I’m not available. Works 9 out of 10 times.

mirror-baby

  • Wesley finally sat happily in the stroller. It was only for about ten minutes but it felt like a big deal.

stroller-happy

And finally, as promised I have video of Wesley laughing. This isn’t the first time he laughed but it’s pretty freaking adorable, if I say so myself.

Nothing better.

Weekly Wesley: Sixteen

Week16

This past week started with the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Wesley’s first laugh.

first-laugh

There is video but it’s long and not edited so it will have to wait. Trust me though, it’s the Best. Sound. Ever.

The next day we picked up a weekly visit to my grandparents’ house that we hadn’t been doing since Wesley arrived.

grandma!

It was so good to see them and have dinner and watch a movie. I love that they live so close so we try to take advantage of that as much as we can.

Then this weekend we had my dad over.

grandpa

It was nice to let Wesley bond with him a bit. Unfortunately it ended in a trip to the hospital for my dad so that was sad. He’s stable and he’ll be okay I think. I just wish he was healthy and back to  his old self.

Other milestones:

  • Wesley has decided that I can’t make him do tummy time. Nearly every time I put him down on his tummy he rolls over a minute later. Silly kiddo.

tummy-time

And just a couple of my favorite photos from the week.

morning-smiles

This is what I wake up to every morning. Lately I open my eyes and he’s just staring up at me smiling. Melts my heart every single time.

beautiful-boy

I know I might be biased but I think I have the most beautiful little boy in the world.

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