Loss

Had to drop by and update so there is no confusion. We lost the pregnancy at about 8 weeks. Not exactly the news I hoped to write on here but it is what it is. I’ve blogged about the whole thing on Skymommy and will continue doing so. If you want to follow my journey that is where it will be and I promise it won’t always be such sad news.

We’re expecting!

and we’re beyond thrilled. Follow my adventure into motherhood at SkyMommy.com.

Extended Furlough

Sorry that I’ve been completely neglecting this blog lately. I’m also sorry that the post I left at the top was so incredibly depressing. While my life is actually quite great right now I just don’t feel like I have much to say on this blog. It was supposed to be about my jet setting adventures around the world serving coke and meeting people. And while I have had many great adventures while grounded from work it’s not the same as working. So I lost steam here and planned to begin writing again when my recall date came in March.

Unfortunately I got news recently that instead of going back to work in a couple weeks I’ve been furloughed for another year.

A whole freaking extra year of being grounded. Sucks.

But it’s better than the alternative of losing my job completely along with my flight benefits and insurance. I still have those and I do have a recall date of March 2013.

All that to say I’m letting this blog go for awhile. I may still post from time to time and it’s definitely not dead for good. I will revive this blog when I officially go back to work, hopefully in no more than a year from now.

Don’t worry though, you can still find me around Twitter and I have another blog project in the works that I’m super excited about….

More on that very soon.

Goodbye Little Friend

Today I said goodbye to someone who has been with Joel and I from practically the very beginning. We got him a couple months after we got married. We’d just moved out of my hometown to be closer to Joel’s new job. I was lonely and needed a friend. So off to the pet store we went and spent $14 on a little blue parakeet.

We named him Einstein.

No particular reason for that name except I thought it was funny. He almost got renamed when my nephew Hunter saw him for the first time and exclaimed “TURTLE!” Einstein seemed to fit him though so it stuck.

Through the years he was my little buddy when I was home alone waiting for Joel to get off work. He loved the sound of running water and punk rock music. He was also probably Five Iron Frenzy‘s littlest fan. He loved to rock out. He rarely ever screeched or made the loud obnoxious noise parakeets are known for. He mostly just chirped and sang pleasantly or had little conversations with the birds outside the window.

He was a afraid of almost everything. He didn’t even like to be held for a long time. We tried to get him toys and even another parakeet buddy but he wanted nothing to do with them. As long as he had his music or running water he was happiest.

He eventually warmed up to us and realized we weren’t out to kill him. When I spent a year based in DC while Joel was back here in Chicago he and Joel became really close. They never lost that special bond. He was meant to be a friend to me but he ended up being Joel’s confidant during all the hard times while I was away.

Then the last couple months he started to look a little rough. His feathers weren’t as bright and he went through a molting phase that didn’t ever really end. The last couple weeks he started falling off his perches. And then in the last few days he just didn’t try to get up on them anymore. He just hung out at the bottom of his cage. His one little foot curled up under him and he never used it anymore. We had to move his food and water onto the floor of his cage so that he could eat and drink.

Then this morning he sang one more quick little song. It stood out to me because I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I heard him actually sing.

Then he let out what sounded like a painful cry. I went over to check on him and part of his bottom beak had broken off completely. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. I called Joel and he rushed home so he could take him to the vet. I was too much of a mess to go with him. It just broke my heart to see him in such pain.

Joel and I said our goodbyes to him and I stayed home and just cried. The vet said it was nothing we did wrong. He couldn’t be 100% sure without very expensive blood work but all the symptoms pointed to a tumor. It would have cost hundreds of dollars to even try to treat him and there was no guarantee it would do any good. He was just in too much pain already so we decided the kindest thing was to put him down.

I miss him so much already. The cage is already in the garage because it’s just too painful to see it sitting there empty. Looking at the spot where it used to sit makes me cry though.

I think Phoebe will miss him too although she was never a big fan. I blame that on the geese that used to live in the backyard of our old apartment. Bullies. But we could always say “Where’s Einstein?” and she would run to his cage. If he got too loud she would run over and grumble at him or stare at him in interest.

He was old and up until the end he lived a really nice life. I wish we would have taken him to the vet sooner. I feel so guilty that we let him be in pain at all much less letting it get to the point of his beak breaking. We knew in the last several days that he was really sick and we’d probably have to have him put down. I just didn’t want it to be true. I wanted him to suddenly perk up and be his happy little self again.

We did the kind thing, although I wish we’d done it sooner. Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier though. He left a void bigger than I imagined he would. He was always just there, in the background making my day a little brighter and more pleasant with his song. And now he’s gone.

A part of our family died today. I miss you so much my little friend.

Two really sucky options

I’ve said it before. The dentist freaks me the heck out. I hate to admit it because I’m not normally so… normal? I mean, it’s normal to be afraid of the dentist right?

Please say yes. I don’t need to feel worse about this.

Thankfully I have excellent dental hygiene. I brush twice a day. I floss every night. I use mouthwash. I’ve never had many dental problems. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. I also had a wee little filling on something that was a soft spot not a cavity. Or something. I’m not a dentist.

I had hoped that that would be the end of my relationship with the dentist other than regular cleanings. Wouldn’t you know it couldn’t be that simple.

::sigh::

So now this stupid tooth that never bothered me before ever hurts like crazy. That’s not the way these things are supposed to work right? No pain, get a filling, one year later extreme pain? Seems backwards, am I right?

Naturally the first thing anyone would do when they get shooting pains when they so much as brush in the area, much less eat anything hot or cold, would be to call the dentist right? Well…. I may have put it off… awhile.

Like a week. I really honestly hoped it would go away.

Needless to say it didn’t. And when I put down a bar of Godiva chocolate because it hurt too much to eat it I knew I had to suck it up and make a call.

Yesterday I had an appointment with an endodontist because when I explained my symptoms to my dentist they thought I may need a root canal. Yay!

I went to the office, filled out some paperwork (By the way, how mean is it to expect someone to remember important information like their SSN or their husband’s driver’s license number with the sound of sucking and drilling as background noise. ::shiver:: Wait, who remembers their own driver’s license number much less their husband’s? Seriously.) and tried not to pass out, throw up or shiver too visibly. Spoiler alert: I did none of those things. Win!

Well, after taking some x-rays and then poking around in my mouth to find out if it hurt. (Yes it freaking did!) I was told I have two options. Both of them suck. Of course.

Option one: Try to repair my damaged filling and hope that will fix it. It’s definitely the less invasive option. It also won’t cost a fortune which is a big plus. The downside is, it may not actually fix it at all. In fact, I can expect to be in pain for the better part of a month. It may even make my pain worse, to the point of not sleeping, for awhile. And if it doesn’t work I could end up needing a root canal anyway, after all that.

Option two: Just go ahead and get a root canal. This would make the pain go away much faster because it gets rid of the nerve. No nerve, no pain! Wee! However, it would hollow out my tooth, weakening it and requiring a crown. Complications with that down the road could mean losing a tooth. It also may require my selling my first born child to pay for, I’m not entirely sure how much my insurance covers. I know it’s the more expensive option anyway.

So yeah, I’m putting off calling and scheduling anything because I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m also not in quite as much pain as before. Mostly because I’ve stopped chewing completely on that side of my mouth but whatever.

I need advice from someone with more dental experience than me. I’m leaning toward the first option, anything less drastic seems like a plus. But the idea of being in pain for a month is less than appealing. Tell me what I should do people! I need your help!