I keep seeing the big black void where my baby should have been.
Nothing to see.
I remember thinking at the beginning that I thought I’d hear the heartbeat.
Nothing to hear.
My uterus is measuring about half a week behind where it should be. But even so there should have been something. Something beside the black void that there was.
Those moments of sitting on the table before the doctor came in I was so excited. I realized in those moments how much I really did want that baby and how I couldn’t wait to see it. Funny I would realize it then, right before it was gone.
Funny how losing something that was never really there hurts so much.
I still feel just as pregnant. I could barely make it out the door this morning because I felt so nauseous.
We have another scan next week to see if there could be a mistake with how far along I am. But there should have been something. Anything.
There was nothing.