Today we had the funeral for my step father-in-law, Ron. I can’t really come up with the right words. Saying goodbye is really hard. It just doesn’t seem right that he won’t be around.

Phoebe still runs around the house when we’re over at my mother-in-law’s house looking for him. She begs for food so much more because he could never resist her little face. She adored him. When a dog adores someone I think that says a lot about them.

She really adored him.

He was only 58. That’s way, way too young. It’s good that he’s not in pain anymore.

But it was too soon.

I sat next to my dad at the funeral. I can’t imagine losing him. Ever. He’s so much older than Ron was. My dad is going to be 73. Ron was only 58.

Fifty eight.

It’s just so unfair.

I don’t deal well with death. It makes me sad and angry. No one I know should ever die.

The fact that people I know are mortal? Terrifies me.

I want to put every single person I love in a bubble. They are not allowed to leave me. Ever.

But unfortunately part of life is death. I’m not ok with that but I don’t really get a choice in the matter.

This holiday season I’ll be holding everyone I love a little bit closer.

And I’ll be remembering the one who is missing.