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Versions of Me

There is not just one Me.

There’s the one in my head.

The one I wish I were.

The one I am at home.

The one I am with my family.

The one I am when meeting new people.

The one I am with my friends.

The one I am with my dog.

The one I am at work.

The one I am in public.

All of them are similar but they are not the same. Sometimes it’s exhausting. I wish I could figure out the balance because I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions. A person can only be pulled so far before they break. It’s just science.

It’s mostly the pressure I put on myself that makes me feel this way. I must be confident. I must feel beautiful. I must be happy and smiley. I must be positive. I must. I must.

I’m tired.

Every once in awhile I’m tempted to withdraw. I consider myself a people person but sometimes I have an incredible urge to run away and hide from humanity forever. Or to start over somewhere that nobody knows me. I want to take everything I’ve learned and become this super human I envision.

The problem is that Me always follows. Every stupid version.

Some versions are better than others. Every version has flaws.

Except that one I wish I were. She’s perfect.

I’m not her.

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4 Comments

  1. Perfection is found in the imperfections, and we all have plenty of them. All of those girls you are are One, and she is multifaceted and wonderful, just as we all are. 😉

    • I wish I didn't feel like they were fighting each other though. I know who I want to be but I can never seem to get there. I only get glimpses of that ideal.

  2. It All Changes

    WoW! Thank you for sharing this tonight. I really need to read this and know I'm know I'm not alone.

    We are who we are and not just pieces to people…although it often feels like that.

    • And thank you for commenting. It means so much to know that I'm not alone either. I know all these pieces make up me as a person but I wish I didn't feel so fragmented.

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