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My subconscious is very modest

I’m a little obsessive compulsive. Not that I’ve ever been officially diagnosed but there are certain things that cause me a lot of anxiety if they aren’t a certain way. This makes getting to sleep very difficult because things really have to be just so. Want a glimpse inside what it’s like sleeping next to me? Ok, here you go…

First of all the sheets can be a big issue. I cannot deal with having any wrinkles. If we had new, tight sheets that wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately a lot of the elastic has gone out of our sheets and that means, unless I wash them daily (yeah right!), after a day or two they start to shift around. If I remember, I’ll pull them tightly right before I get in bed but if Joel is already in bed or I forget it’s,

wiggle, kick foot, pull sheet, try and relax, feel another wrinkle, wiggle wiggle, kick kick, pull sheet, try to relax etc.

until I don’t feel any more wrinkles. Luckily the whole bed doesn’t have to be wrinkle free, just the space immediately under me.

Then there’s the top sheet. It has to be folded over the top of the blanket at least 8 inches. No, I don’t actually get out a ruler and measure. I’m not quite that crazy. I can’t stand lying in bed and having the top sheet fall over my face or get bunched up around my neck. If it’s folded over the top that doesn’t happen.

That’s just a taste of the crazy but I don’t want to overwhelm you right off the bat. Anyway, with my problems with wrinkled or bunched fabric you can imagine it’s very hard to sleep clothed. If I’m wearing pajamas then it’s a vicious cycle of straightening sheets and then kicking my pants down so they’re not twisted or bunched up. And then if I move? It starts the whole stupid process over from the beginning.

In order to save my sanity (and Joel’s because sleeping next to Wiggle McWigglepants is not very restful) I’ve stopped sleeping in pajamas altogether. Hope that’s not too much TMI for you all. It’s just easier, I get to sleep faster and Joel and I both stay asleep.

Or at least usually. Last night I had a dream that I was in bed. I was of course naked but someone was in my room other than my husband. It wasn’t scary, more like a visitor wandered in looking for something. I didn’t want to be seen naked by the stranger in my room so I slid off the side and hid next to the bed. I then pulled on the t-shirt and pajama shorts I keep next to the bed in case of emergency. Joel asked me what I was doing and I admittedly told him something about needing pajamas. Then I crawled back in bed. Clearly I was trying to be a great host for my visitor. My dream continued on from there.

Not a very interesting dream, right? The thing is, when I woke up later I was in pajamas. I definitely didn’t go to bed in pajamas so at first I was confused. Slowly my dream came back to me and I realized that my dream and reality had gotten mixed up. I asked Joel about it later.

He said he woke up and only saw the top of my head because I was sitting next to the bed. He said it looked like I was folding laundry. He asked what I was doing and I got very upset and mumbled something about needing pajamas. I then crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

We laughed and laughed. I may be crazy, but at least it’s entertaining sometimes.

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2 Comments

  1. Haha omg that’s crazy. My Hubby says I sing in my sleep on a regular basis. Lol & I sleep nekkid too:) I can’t stand rolling around and my shirt gets all weird and tight around my neck.

    • You sing? That is both awesome and hilarious. While I’ve both talked and walked in my sleep I’m pretty sure I’ve never sang.

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