I Should Probably Just Get Over It

I am a Facebook addict. I admit it. But this post is not about that.

This post is about something I find strangely weird and uncomfortable about Facebook. That is, having my immediate family on my friends list. Not so much my brothers and sisters, most of the time we’re more like friends anyway. It’s my parents. For some reason having my mom and dad as my Facebook friends is just strange.

The thing is, I can’t place my finger on why it’s so odd to me. I mean, I have many friends on Facebook. Some are even my parents’ age. Doesn’t bother me. It’s also not that I think they’re going to discover something about me that they don’t already know. We’re a close family. Plus, I’m pretty much a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of a girl.

So far I haven’t had to deal with it much. Until recently only my mom had a Facebook account. She basically never gets on because she’s a teeny bit busy raising her six kids. Oh, and the nursing degree she’s in her senior year of getting. Have I mentioned my mom kicks ass? My mom is probably the coolest woman alive but there’s still that tiny part of me that cringed ever so slightly when she created her account.

Then there’s my dad. I had no idea he’d even heard of Facebook. My dad has many talents and interests but social networking was never one of them. Then a friend invite popped up on my homepage.

Jim Staub

There’s no picture. Just a name. Very little information on the account. But I’m pretty sure it’s my dad. Or at least someone pretending to be my dad. But I would guess an impostor would ad more than the bare minimum to their profile page. Still, I can’t be 100% positive. It just seems so out of place for my dad, of all people, to join Facebook. Of course I accept. Because I’m a good daughter, and even more so because I do love my dad. But it’s still just a little strange.

My dad has one status update: “Jim Staub is trying to understand facebook :/” At least he has the “status grammar” correct, which is more than I can say of a lot of Facebook users. Where the heck did he learn to make that emoticon? It’s still surreal so the other day, when my family was hanging around, I remembered to ask him about it.

“Oh hey Dad, is that really you on Facebook?”

He jerked his head over his shoulder and exclaimed “Where?!”

Joel, my siblings and I laughed until our stomachs hurt and tears were running down our faces.

I guess my parents being on Facebook isn’t going to affect my life that much after all.

Change Hearts, Not Laws

Abortion is a huge issue. It shapes some people’s entire worldview. I personally know people who would not vote for Obama, even though they agreed with a lot of what he stands for, simply because of his pro-choice stance. I remember, growing up, how much I heard about this issue. I was constantly told life begins at conception and therefore it should be any decent human’s goal to overturn Roe v Wade. I happen to agree with the idea that life begins at conception. I think all life is precious and hate the idea of it being lost for any reason including abortion.

There is a problem with simply changing laws though. According to the BBC, a survey done by the Guttmacher Institute found that:

“…abortion occurs at roughly equal rates in regions where it is legal and regions where it is highly restricted.

It did note that improved access to contraception had cut the overall abortion rate over the last decade.

But unsafe abortions, primarily illegal, have remained almost static.”

Also, the New York Times reports:

“A comprehensive global study of abortion has concluded that abortion rates are similar in countries where it is legal and those where it is not, suggesting that outlawing the procedure does little to deter women seeking it.”

This was based on studies the World Health Organization did together with the Guttmacher Institute.

Is the best answer telling people that they may not have an abortion? It doesn’t seem to be.  If people are desperate enough, they will do just about anything to get an abortion and too often that leads to not only the death of the baby but the mother as well. How is that better?

I believe the focus should be on education and making contraceptives more available and affordable. When I was living in The Netherlands I decided I wanted to go on birth control. I was written a prescription for six months worth of birth control pills, which I had to pay for out of pocket. The cost? Fifteen euros. That’s about twenty US dollars. Anyone can afford that. I just talked to my sister who recently had her birth control prescription filled in California. The cost there? Thirty five US dollars for just one month! Luckily, she has insurance and the cost to her was far less, but there are something like 47 million uninsured Americans. What are they supposed to do? Hope the condom doesn’t break I guess… The Netherlands has the lowest abortion rate in the world. The US has one of the highest. You do the math.

I believe it’s ridiculous to put ideology over life and safety. I was raised in the church and took an abstinence pledge when I was young teenager. For me it worked. I wasn’t some people’s definition of perfect. I had a few boyfriends and let’s just say we definitely did more than hold hands. But I waited to have sex until I married my amazing husband. However, that is not the case with everyone who vows to save it for marriage.

Two of my sisters also took the abstinence pledge. They both got pregnant before they were 16. Abstinence only education doesn’t work. Look at Bristol Palin for God’s sake! The problem comes when parents stick their heads in the sand and refuse to acknowledge that their horny teenager might have sex. They refuse to teach them how to use condoms or take them to the doctor to get birth control because they see that as an ok to go out and do whomever they feel like. It doesn’t surprise me at all that  teen birth rates are highest in most religious states. Accepting the truth and trying to prevent an undesirable outcome isn’t an endorsement, it’s just being realistic.

My sisters were fairly lucky. We’re a very close family and I’m happy to say that no matter what any of us did, said or believed, my parents would still love us and be there for us. But not all pregnant teens are that lucky. Faced with being disowned and living on the streets or getting rid of a child you don’t even know, what would you choose? Even with the great support system my sisters had they still were looked down upon and lost friends. One sister was even asked not to attend her church’s youth group anymore once they found out she was pregnant. The father of her child however, was still welcome to come…

The answer is not changing the law. It’s preventing unwanted pregnancies in the first place. It’s also loving those that do get pregnant and helping in practical ways like donating food, clothes and time. It’s making it easier to get babies adopted into loving homes. Laws hardly ever stop someone from doing what they have their mind set on. The only thing that will save babies’ lives is a change of heart.

But We Don’t Need Healthcare Reform

Gah! Stories like this make me want to shake certain people.

A healthy, four month old baby boy, that only consumes breast milk, is considered obese and denied health insurance. This is wrong on so many levels. It makes me angry. It also frustrates me that the same people who claim to be pro-life don’t support health reform legislation. They call it socialist, communist or even Nazi. Because insuring a healthy, chubby baby is such a wacky idea. That baby is already born so it doesn’t deserve protection, right? Wait…

Luckily, because of all the bad publicity the insurance company decided to change their decision. Out of the goodness of their hearts, right? I’ll bet. The problem is, there are too many people that are being denied coverage for shitty reasons just like that little baby. Things that may or may not be out of their control. Once diagnosed with something you may as well start a savings account in case you get really sick. Because even if your insurance company keeps taking your money for years, the minute you get really sick there are people whose sole job is to find any stupid little reason not to pay for your health care. Don’t believe me? Ask him, or her, or these people, or her… The list could go on and on.

But wait, it may *gasp* cost healthy people a bit more. Not that! Don’t make me help my fellow man! Don’t force me to act Christ-like or anything. *rolls eyes* The funny thing is, the people I know who support heathcare reform the most are usually non religious. The religious folks… well hopefully their tithe money is going to good use because they don’t want another cent taken. Not all Christians of course are against healthcare reform and not all non religious folks support it. But in my experience, far too many Repulican/ Conservative/ Right wing/ Christians/ Whatever you want to call them are too busy protesting abortion to realize there are men, women and children who are already born that need help. Why don’t they matter?

I don’t care if you’re a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t consider myself part of either party. I don’t care if you’re a Christian or not. This is a human issue not a political one. See, it’s easy to be dismissive about healthcare until something bad happens to you or someone you love. I’ve been uninsured. It sucks and it’s terrifying. Thank God I’m a healthy person and nothing horrible happened to me but I never want to be in that scary place again. This is why I feel so strongly about this issue. And this is why I can’t understand people who put politics ahead of what is best for the country. Winning an election or keeping a little bit more of your paycheck shouldn’t be more important than a person’s life.

The whole thing makes me sick…

but don’t tell my insurance company.

Meeting My Hero aka Robin Williams

Ever since I was young my favorite actor has been Robin Williams. He can do anything, funny, serious, improvisation… he’s beyond amazing. One of my life’s dreams has been to meet him in person. Joel, being the amazing husband that he is, knew that and somehow managed to get meet and greet tickets to his show in Chicago. Originally the show was supposed to be in March but was postponed due to heart issues. I like to joke that he got so excited to meet me that it gave him a heart attack. *grin* Luckily the show was rescheduled for October 2nd.

The day of the show I was beside myself with excitement. We got there about an hour early and were interviewed for his video, so we’ll have to see later if it makes it on. We had fabulous seats as you can kind of see from this crummy picture taken with my iPhone.

This was taken before the show since there was absolutely NO personal photography allowed at any other time. The show was of course hysterical.

The best part was after the show. We were ushered backstage and into a little room with cupcakes and cookies. Those were the last things on my mind though. We lined up and got our picture taken with him.

Ah! This is a picture of one of the best moments of my life! Look at how happy we look.

After the photos we lined back up and had the greet part of the meet and greet. He signed an 8×10 head shot of himself for us and we got to talk to him for a minute. I would like to mention that while he signed Joel’s “Best wishes”, he signed mine “Love”. Does it mean something? I’ll let you decide for yourself.

I can’t really tell you what we talked about. I’m pretty sure whatever I said came out “Urg, ble, blah blah, eee, eh.. you’re amazing.” Not an exact quote but that’s pretty close. It was just beyond incredible.

I can now cross that off my list of things to do before I die. Seriously, meeting him was on there. Now I just need to do a movie with him… and considering my witty banter with him (see above) I’d say I have a pretty good shot.